


if only in my dreams

by their_dark_materials



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Christmas Road Trip, Co-workers, Decorating A Tree, Falling In Love, Jealous Robert Sugden, M/M, POV Robert Sugden, Robron Christmas Calendar 2018, Romance, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Snowball Fight, Stuck In a Village, The Hallmark Movie No One Asked For
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-14 12:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 34,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16913151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/their_dark_materials/pseuds/their_dark_materials
Summary: Robert Sugden likes his new co-worker Aaron Dingle. There's just one catch: Aaron seems to be in love with Adam Barton. But when they're forced to work together, sparks begin to fly. Will Robert be able to navigate Aaron and Adam's happy relationship and keep his feelings to himself? Or will he put everything on the line for one chance with Aaron?For Robron Christmas Calendar 2018





	if only in my dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Please make sure you go check out the [amazing gifset](https://robronchristmas2018.tumblr.com/post/181242166957/robron-christmas-calendar-2018-december-19th-2018) that my partner-in-crime and the inspiration for this fic, @whatdiknow, made over on tumblr. She truly outdid herself, and it staggers me daily. (Also, tell her how great and talented she is because she deserves to hear that every single day.)

**FRIDAY**  

He doesn’t actually _know_ Adam Barton, let alone spoken to the man. But judging from the way he’s got one hand clasped on Aaron’s shoulder as he picks at the food on Aaron’s plate, Robert knows he already hates — nay, _detests_ — him.

“And you’re sure they’re… together?” He asks Gerry, eyes still trained on both men from where he and his assistant are standing at the bar. (He knows it’s rude and possibly illegal to inquire after a new co-worker’s sexual orientation and current relationship — and to do so from his assistant no less — but after a week of dancing around his attraction to his new, very fit co-worker, push has come to shove and he simply must know: Does Aaron Dingle have a boyfriend?)

As usual it feels like Gerry is only half-listening, his eyes fixed on their Head of Human Resources Bernice Blackstock, who’s stood chatting with _her_ assistant Tracy. But he nods and answers cheerfully enough, taking a sip of his beer as he tells him, “Oh, definitely! Adam was waitin’ for him when they got here. Said he was Aaron’s better half?”

Gerry laughs. Robert sighs inwardly.

Of course it wouldn’t be that easy. There’s no way a guy like Aaron would be walking around unattached. Not with those eyes, and that face, and _those_ lean-yet-toned biceps. (He also knows it’s highly unprofessional to ogle his co-worker at any given chance. But it’s not Robert’s fault that he has an eye for beauty in all its forms. And it’s certainly _not_ his fault that Aaron Dingle just happens to be attractive and entirely his type. Though over the last week he’s started to feel like his type has simply coalesced _into_ Aaron.)

Nevertheless, a small part of him is grateful. At least this way the possibility of an office romance is off the table (for now) and that leaves them free to be just colleagues. Though with the way his heart — and another more southern part of him — is responding to the sight of Aaron smiling and laughing across the room, a part of him is still weighing the possibility of trying to initiate an affair.

_One night of sex with me and he’ll forget all about Adam._

But no. That’s just Robert thinking with his cock and not his brain and _that’s_ already led him into enough trouble for this one lifetime. It’s why he was kicked out from his brother’s wedding reception almost a month ago (despite his being best man), and now, why he’s been uninvited from the annual Sugden Christmas Day celebration.

Though if you ask him, a holiday spent away from Andy and Katie and their smug, judging gazes is the biggest gift either of them could have given him. Neither of them has been able to move on from the past, and neither of them has made an attempt at forgiveness. Even though _Robert_ was the one whose heart was broken by their initial reunion a year ago, when Katie decided to leave him for Andy on the very day Robert had intended to propose. (Okay, maybe he could have stopped himself from seducing both a bridesmaid _and_ his fellow groomsman. But he’d just spent an hour of his life standing and watching his first love and ex-girlfriend marry his dimwit of an older brother using _both_ their mother and father’s wedding rings. Surely _that_ should count for something.)

Robert swallows the last of his drink — Jack Daniels, neat — and makes a vow to himself. No more pining for people already in relationships. He’ll just have to find a way to get over Aaron Dingle.

:::::

He’s three drinks in at the bar when he hears the voice in his ear; gruff, low, and way too sexy for his alcohol-dimmed mind to handle.

“You gonna come say hello, or just stand here starin’?”

Robert looks to his left and finds Aaron leaning on the counter; top button undone and black shirt pulling tight against his wide, muscular chest. The silver tie he’d worn this morning has since vanished. What hasn’t disappeared is that smile on his face — though it’s smaller, softer, and feels entirely meant for Robert. (Even if it isn’t, his heart is claiming it as his. After all, he is currently paying for it with his pulse skipping every other beat, and his lungs’ general inability to hold a breath for too long. However, that’s been the norm any time he’s spoken to Aaron.)

“Didn’t want to be rude and interrupt,” Robert manages a response, immediately grateful that his tongue is being cooperative and working. Up close, even in this dim lighting, Aaron’s eyes are spectacularly blue — bluer than he’d expected. Then again, that’s what Robert’s thought every other time they’ve locked eyes. Even during split-second glances across the conference room.

Aaron cracks a grin at that, clearly amused by his callback to earlier in the day, when Bernice had tried to advise him about managing his “excessive rudeness.” (Robert had actually disagreed with her summation of the situation. The client’s constant dithering had been wasting all of their time — not to mention gotten on his nerves as well, making it hard for him and Aaron to get a sense of what kind of promotional ad campaign they’d wanted.)

“You wouldn’t be rude,” Aaron tells him, shaking his head. “... _or_ interrupting.”

Robert thinks his ears might be broken because somehow, Aaron’s voice has gotten impossibly _lower_ , sending goosebumps shooting up his arms and chills rippling down his neck.

The spell is broken when Aaron then clears his throat and adds, “Besides, I wanted to introduce ya to Adam.”

 _But I don’t want to meet him._  

Aaron’s eyes flicker away and he bites his lip. When he looks back at him Robert thinks he can detect what appears to be traces of nervousness. His heart thunders in the way it always does when he thinks about what would happen if any of their co-workers find out he’s bisexual; a can of worms he has no intention of opening any time soon. Not after the way things had gone down at that wedding.

Robert realises he’s been silent and staring for way too long when he sees the spark of courage start to fade from Aaron’s eyes. Because even Aaron Dingle, with his resolute “don’t care” attitude and completely earned self-possessed confidence isn’t immune from that specific kind of sexuality-related nervousness that comes from being out; of never being sure how new people in your life might handle or even accept it, if they’ll dismiss it or change their views of you in an instant. (Aaron’s actually the first out co-worker Robert’s ever worked with in his life. His jaw had almost dropped that first day, when Aaron had corrected their client Ross Barton and told him that _no_ , he did not find that woman attractive because he is, in fact, gay. That had shut Ross up and sent Robert’s mind in a tailspin. He’d barely concentrated on the rest of their pitches that afternoon. Hell, he’s still having trouble concentrating now.) 

That’s why he lets his resolve crumble almost instantly and nods a reluctant yes. The look of relief in Aaron’s eyes is worth it.

:::::  
 

Turns out, talking to Adam Barton does not make him any more palatable as a person. He’s loud, unintelligent, and unemployed. Worst of all though, he keeps referring to Robert as Aaron’s “work husband” and for that alone, Robert wants to kill him.

But he just grins and bears it because he can see, if not _feel_ , Aaron’s eyes repeatedly flicking to him any time Adam makes one of his not-so-funny “jokes,” as if checking to see if Robert really does accept him.

Accepts _them_.

It’s in the middle of intercepting and sharing one of these looks from across this narrow, rectangular table that Robert wonders what the hell it is Aaron really sees in this absolute mess of a man. Because twice now Aaron’s made one of his dry, cutting remarks (Gerry’s loud mouth and jovial nature not doing him any favours. Robert makes a note to talk to his assistant about workplace socialising etiquette at some point next week) and it’s twice now that Robert’s been the only one who’s gotten them and chuckled; the meaning of Aaron’s words just flying over Adam’s head both times.

 _The sex must really be good_ , Robert thinks, sizing this other man up. Only he stops quite quickly because the thought of Adam in bed with Aaron is mildly horrifying.

 _Probably as loud and sloppy as he is now_.

Robert chases that bit of smugness with the last of his drink. Because if there’s one thing Robert Sugden can be sure of it’s his sexual prowess. After all, what’s the point of doing anything if you’re not going to do it _well_? (He actually has a list of things he knows he’d like to do to Aaron if given a chance. He’s been compiling it since Monday.) 

The empty glass coupled with Adam’s sudden, booming laugh is a clear enough signal that it’s time for him to go home, lest he says something he’ll really regret, and maybe get himself fired in the process.

Besides, he can’t stand to be here anymore. He can’t stand to be around Aaron. 

Maybe if he thought he actually had a chance with the man. Maybe if he knew Aaron was unhappy. But having spent twenty minutes with him and his loved-up boyfriend who makes him laugh and shares his food, he knows it’s not the case. Only love can make you deaf _and_ blind to Adam Barton’s sense of humour. 

That or a _lot_ of alcohol. (He recommends trying the latter.) 

“Better get a shift on,” Robert says, getting to his feet, his words slurring a bit to his ears. He means to direct them at everyone at the table, but his gaze remains decidedly fixed on Aaron.

“But you just got here!” Tracy exclaims on his left, drunk enough to not try and modulate her volume.

“Aww, you sure?” Adam asks, with annoyingly loud cheeriness, just a bit sozzled himself. 

Robert nods at him absentmindedly, not wanting to attempt to speak again unless he absolutely has to. 

Directly across from him Aaron looks like he’s going to say something; light concern in his eyes and his mouth on the verge of opening… 

But then a muscle in his jaw seems to tick and he closes it again. Gives Robert a smile and a polite nod. 

Despite being five sheets to the wind and tipsier than usual, Robert can read it loud and clear. 

_See ya on Monday. Get home safe._

Robert smiles his response, wanting Aaron to know he got it and that he’s touched by his concern.

 _Thanks. Don’t worry. I’ll take care._  

Thankfully, his feet are steady as he makes his way over to the door. It allows him some space to keep thinking about Aaron. He might not be able to date — or sleep with — him as he wants, but maybe, just _maybe_ , they can be friends.

Aaron’s laugh rings in his ears.

  
:::::  
 

**SATURDAY**

He spends most of the day swiping left on Tinder, not that he intends for Vic to see or know. This is really the first time he’s ever searched for a man to date on the app, an attempt to scratch at the itch that is Aaron.

Because as someone once said, _The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else._

But after swiping past yet another trying-too-hard bloke — and his overly flouncy hair and even weirder passion for _Rocky Horror Picture Show_ — Robert thinks that person only said that because they’d never met Aaron.

He frowns and swipes left. 

When he looks up, he catches Vic staring at him over the pot of Thai red curry she’s been cooking in his kitchen, culinary school working out quite well for her so far. He tries to steady his features and not give anything away, but in the way of all nosy younger sisters, she catches onto him anyway.

“What’s her name?” She asks him, a teasing tone in her voice. She quickly adds, “Or _his_ name.”

Robert wonders if it’s too late to pray for Satan himself to suck him into the floor. Nothing in Hell could ever be worse than discussing his sexuality with a member of his family. (Though, for what it’s worth, he does recognise that Vic would easily be the best one to talk about it with. She’s always taken after their late mother in terms of accepting open-mindedness.)

“There’s _no one_ ,” he insists. But not even he believes his words, despite them technically being the truth; can hear them ring hollow with thoughts of Aaron.

_Well, there is, but he’s with someone else and it’s torture._

Thankfully that’s not what Vic hones in on, the youngest Sugden now like a dog with her favourite bone. Robert tries to think of ways to set her on Andy.

“You know, it’s alright if you are _bisexual_ ,” she says gently, and in a manner that doesn’t feel rehearsed or like she read a pamphlet. “None of us have a problem with that. You should love whoever you want to.” 

Robert gives her a pointed look. She had been there that day at the reception. She’d heard what Andy and Katie had said after they’d found out about him. 

Vic must read the look on his face because she then continues, “They’re only mad because it was their wedding day. I’m sure you can understand that. They’ll probably have ya over for Christmas if you just apologise!”

He looks at his sister, her big well-meaning blue-green eyes and the hope radiating off her, and almost considers it. But then he remembers the shock in Andy’s gaze and the fury on his face and suddenly he’s standing there in that coat room with his pants down all over again. 

He swallows roughly, mentally refusing to go back there.

“Vic,” he says as gently as he can, despite the ocean that’s threatening to spill over inside him. “It’s not that simple.”

“Then talk to me, Robert!” She exclaims, putting a lid on the curry and leaving it to simmer.

With the way she’s looking at him, he finds that he really cannot deny her this time. Also, if he’s being honest, a small part of him wants her to take his side against their brother. He knows it’s petty and completely childish on his part, but that is what family does to you, isn’t it?

Or at least it’s what Andy does to him.

“They said I only had sex with Greg _and_ Shanice because I was doing it for the attention,” Robert tells her quietly. “That I only slept with a man because I wanted to ruin their ‘special’ day.” 

He rolls his eyes and mutters almost bitterly, “God forbid I do anything for myself.”

Looking back at Vic he can see more questions in her eyes, so he does his best to answer them without her asking. “Look, I know it was stupid, but I genuinely wasn’t thinking of them. I did it because Greg was fit and bi-curious and because _I_ wanted to.”

_Because I wanted to feel better about myself._

He smiles sadly, looking away now. “You know, I was going to ask Katie to marry me. But she chose Andy instead.”

When he turns towards her again, he sees the light dawning in her eyes as she puts two and two together. His family had always known that there had been _something_ between him and Katie after she and Andy had broken up that first time, but they’d never known the full extent of it on account of both of them wanting to keep it a secret; both wanting to spare Andy’s feelings about his brother dating his ex, and Robert in particular just looking to sidestep any extra judgement from his family. (Not that he’d managed to in the end.)

Vic steps from around his kitchen island and comes over to the bar stool he’s sat on and gives him a hug. Robert returns it, not realising how much he’d needed it. 

When she’s done, she steps back and looks up into his eyes. “I’m sorry she did that to ya. But you should have told us. You should have told Andy!” 

“And how would _that_ have made anything better?” Robert asks, having gone through it in his mind several times since then. “He’d have just thought _I_ was the reason they’d broken up in the first place.”

He sighs. “It was just easier this way.”

Vic nods and goes back to check on the dish. For a while, there’s nothing but the soft sound of a bubbling curry between them. She puts the lid back on again.

“Have you always… liked men?” It’s soft, curious, and devoid of any judgement. She looks at him with kind understanding eyes. “I’m just asking because you’ve never brought home a boyfriend.”

Robert smiles back softly. This is the kindest way she could have asked.

_When did you realise you were bisexual?_

“Yeah,” he tells her truthfully, feeling no need to hide the truth. “Always. Even dated a couple here and there.” 

The last one is only a partial lie. He hasn’t really ever gotten beyond the second or third date, his experiences mostly beginning and ending in the bedroom. But his baby sister doesn’t need to know that. Just her knowing he leans that way is enough.

He watches her try and come up with another way to reunite their already small family for the Christmas holidays, having already taken Doug and Diane’s separation the hardest of any of them.

“I’m not going to apologise for who I am, Vic,” Robert tells her, making it clear that he has nothing left to say to Andy or Katie. Especially after he’d tried to tell them about his sexuality and they’d made it all about themselves. Like he really spends all his time thinking about ways to get back at them. 

(To his credit, Robert really is over Katie now. Though there had been a good three months right after she broke up with him where he’d toyed with telling Andy about them as some kind of revenge. The only reason he hadn’t was _because of_ his brother, Robert choosing to be the bigger and better man for once.) 

“Then at least come back for a visit!” Vic pleads with a pout. “Doug really misses ya, you know. He’s always asking me if I’ve spoken to ya.” 

Robert smiles. He’s gotten several text messages to that effect too, their former stepfather always wanting to know if he’s taking care of himself and that he’s at the very least well-fed — particularly now that he can’t confirm that over Christmas Dinner.  

“I’ll think about it,” Robert tells her, feeling a small part of him soften. Maybe it would be nice to get away from the city for a while, spend some time back home in the village not thinking about Aaron.

“Good,” Vic replies, positively beaming. She goes back and checks on the curry, satisfied with both the aroma and it’s thickness, she turns the gas off. “Now tell me about this guy you fancy.”

“There’s no guy,” Robert lies again, even though his cheeks grow warmer. He wonders if he has a certain look on his face when he thinks about Aaron. “It’s just this dating app.”

Vic’s eyes narrow, like she’s trying to judge if she believes his little hedge. Robert holds his breath to see if his gambit works.

Apparently, it does, because her face relaxes a moment later. He shows her the screen and she comments, “Oh, he’s cute.”

Robert turns it back to him, and studies the face on the profile; short curly dark hair, green-blue eyes, and a pleasant enough smile. He even has a scruffy but still nicely trimmed beard.

“You do know _you’re_ not the one who’d be the one dating him, right?” Robert says, unable to believe that he’s joking with Vic about their shared taste in men. It’s one of those things he’d never pictured himself doing. But now that he is, it feels so wonderfully natural. 

Vic rolls her eyes. “Excuse me for trying to help!”

As she turns her attention to plating up their food, Robert can’t help but feel a tiny bit lighter. Looking back down at his phone, he decides that maybe it _would_ be worth it to swipe right. So he does and puts it away immediately after.

It’s only as he’s mixing some of his coconut rice with some of Vic's curry that Robert thinks back to the man and his profile; a tiny pang of regret already blooming in his chest. He’s sure Mike is a cool enough fellow. But he can’t help but feel like his eyes are not the right shade of blue.

:::::

   
He’d never tell Vic, but she might have a point. Mike is indeed “cute” in his own way. 

His jokes may not be dry and cutting, but they are dorky and sweet, some of them falling just this shy of lame. He’s interested in some of the same shows as Robert — namely _Doctor Who_ — though he hasn’t really been caught up in ages. 

And while he does enjoy football, he shows no interest in boxing, and he’s not quite into music or reading either. He works as a personal chef, which accounts for his general lack of time, but Robert’s never been as big a foodie as his sister.

He’s in the middle of replying to a joke about Stephen King, Mike actually making an effort to engage him, when he gets a text from an unknown number. It’s a photographic meme of Admiral Ackbar from _Star Wars_ , the words over and below the alien war hero reading, “It’s a snack!” a play on his well-known line, “It’s a trap!” The image is stuck onto a fridge.

Robert instantly chuckles, knowing there’s only one man who could have sent it. He saves it in his contacts accordingly.

 **ROBERT**  
Reckon Bernice would have a heart attack if we put this up over her notice.

 **AARON  
**Who leaves their food in the fridge over the weekend anyways?

  
Robert smiles, bites his lip. He thinks of their quick lunch at a cafe before client pitch on Wednesday, when Aaron had practically _splashed_ his way through his tomato soup, before inhaling an entire toasted ham and cheese sandwich. Robert had been amazed he’d walked away spotless, what with crumbs and liquid splashing everywhere.  
 

 **ROBERT  
**Some of us like to chew our food, not wear it.

 **AARON  
**I was hungry.

 **AARON  
**Can’t all use forks and knives like you do.

 **ROBERT  
** 1\. It was a sandwich. 2. And so was I! But you don’t see me turning into Cookie Monster.  
 

He sends Aaron a gif of said muppet destroying a giant cookie.

 **AARON  
**-_-

 **ROBERT  
**Does this mean you watched _Return of the Jedi_ then???

 **ROBERT  
**What did you think???

 **AARON  
**Yeah. At my mate Finn’s place for movie night.

 **AARON  
** It was alright.  
 

Robert shakes his head as he imagines Aaron’s casual shrug.

 **AARON  
**Liked that Han Solo bloke, though.

Robert beams. He thinks of two years back, when he’d dressed up as the Harrison Ford character for Halloween. He goes on Instagram so he can send Aaron the picture.  
 

 **AARON  
**Should’ve known.

  **AARON  
**Anyone ever tell you you’re a big fat nerd?

 _Hopefully a big, fat, incredibly_ fit _nerd_ , Robert thinks. Though he doesn’t type that as his response to Aaron.

It’s not until three hours later when he’s settling in for bed and exiting his way out of his open apps, that Robert realises he never replied to Mike. He’s about to send him an apology and make an excuse, when he gets another text from Aaron.

He exits Tinder and reads over what Aaron said, crafting his reply in the process. After all, it’s not good to leave a new _friend_ (and colleague) hanging.

:::::

**SUNDAY**

When he wakes up with images of the Death Star and Darth Vader and Aaron _Solo_ swimming in his brain, he decides that maybe he will go visit Doug after all. A decision that is confirmed when he gets yet another text from him asking how he’s doing. 

That’s how he ends up in Doug’s living room, with his grandkids, Gabby and Arthur, hauling boxes of Christmas decorations down from the loft.

“Is this why you asked me up here?” Robert asks, placing the last of the boxes by the sofa. He’s got his maroon jumper sleeves rolled up and his hair is plastered to his brow. “So I could do all the heavy lifting?”

“No. That was Gabby’s idea,” Arthur informs him brightly, before turning to his sister and rubbing his arm. “Ow! What did you do that for?”

“Can I get you a glass of water?” Gabby asks cheerily, like she hadn’t smacked her brother a moment ago.

Robert runs a hand through his hair. He is a bit thirsty. “Yeah, sure.”

He wonders if he’ll have to buy either of them Christmas presents seeing as Doug and Diane aren’t married anymore. He makes a note to text Vic and ask her later.

“Are you sad?” Arthur asks, his attention once again focused on Robert. “Granddad said he’s worried about ya because you can’t spend Christmas with your family.”

The ten-year-old must take his silence for agreement because he then asks, “Is it because you’re gay?”

“Arthur!” Doug exclaims, clearly mortified by his grandson.

But Robert just lets out a chuckle, the first real one he’s had around anyone resembling family in ages.

“No, I’m bisexual,” he explains gently. “I like both. Men _and_ women.”

He sees Gabby nod upon re-entering, her lips a thin-lipped smile. He takes the glass of water from her.

“I think that’s quite nice,” Arthur tells him warmly, a big smile on his face. “My dad’s always telling us we should love everyone equally.”

Robert smiles at that, something in him panging. “Well, you’ve got a really great dad.”

The boy beams back at him, reading it as a compliment. “Thanks! I’ll tell him that.”

“Gabby,” Doug says, clearing his throat and deciding to stepping in. “Why don’t you take Arthur with you back to your place?”

“Sure, Granddad,” the teenager responds, just as her brother exclaims, “But we haven’t even started decorating yet!”

“You can come by later,” Doug reassures him.

“Yeah, I don’t think we can get all this done by ourselves. There’ll be plenty left for you and Gabby,” Robert jumps in, a soft spot now present in his heart for the boy and his sister. Maybe he’ll get them presents after all.

That seems to cheer Arthur up as he departs with Gabby, who gives him another nod and a smile of acceptance before leaving Robert and Doug on their own.

As the silence stretches on, Robert busies himself with the box closes to him, reaching in and coming up with… baubles.

“I’m sorry about Arthur,” Doug says softly. “I never said you were gay. Or that any of this was your fault.” 

When Robert looks up at him, he’s standing behind the sofa with a box of his own, his wrinkled face looking absolutely despondent.

“I was just tellin’ Vic I was worried about ya, that’s all,” he continues explaining. “It’s hard to be by yourself at Christmas.”

Robert purses his lips, his mouth a thin line, as he nods at Doug in understanding. “It’s alright. I wasn’t offended.”

He looks at the baubles in his hands and adds quietly, “And thanks. It’s nice to know you care.”

“Of course I care!” Doug exclaims. Robert’s surprised to find he looks insulted. “When I married Diane, I vowed to look after _all_ our children. And that includes you, Robert Sugden.”

He smiles at that, but Doug carries on, his spiritual stepfather still having something to say. “Now, I don’t agree with what Andy and Katie are doing. It’s not right to deny anyone family on the holidays. No matter how mad at them you are.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Robert tells him, firmly but gently. “I’m doing just fine. It’s actually a bit of relief not seeing them for Christmas.”

Doug looks worried, but like always he doesn’t push. Just says, “Well, if you change your mind, you’re always welcome round ours for Christmas. I’ll tell Laurel and Ashley to set aside an extra plate for you.”

He then winks and adds, “All bisexuals welcome.” 

“Thanks, Doug. I, uh, really appreciate that,” Robert says a smile playing at his lips, he has to look away to hold in the laughter. But when he looks back at the older man, Doug’s smiling at him kindly, the warmth of his sentiment spreading in the room around them.

Robert’s cheeks warm, so he shifts his focus elsewhere, holding up the round red and green Christmas ornaments. “Uh, so where do you want me to put these?”

:::::  
 

He doesn’t realise that Aaron hasn’t crossed his mind for most of the day until he steps into the village pub for a post-decoration drink and walks right into him.

Robert stands there in stunned silence, staring into blue, blue eyes, his mind stuck on the feel of Aaron’s steadying hands as they grip either side of his biceps. For once Robert wishes he wasn’t under so many layers; his thick winter jacket and woollen jumper impeding him. (He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t fantasized about exactly this scenario a couple of different times already this last week; Aaron pressing him up against the walls of their office and kissing him senseless.)

When Aaron lets go, Robert feels adrift. He wishes he could yank Aaron’s hands back out of his front pockets and put them back where they were. 

“Fancy meeting you here,” Aaron teases, voice rough and low. Robert feels it deep in his belly.

“What are you doing here?” He finally manages, hating how breathy and strangled his voice sounds to his own ears. But he hopes the Christmas music playing overhead will cover it.

“My mum owns the pub,” Aaron tells him, smiling ever so slightly. Robert never realised how pink his lips were. “What’s your excuse?”

“Visiting my stepdad,” Robert swallows roughly, before finally answering. He tries not to let his gaze drift downward, his eyes drawn to Aaron’s mouth automatically. “Thought I’d give him a hand with the decorations.”

“Didn’t know you were such a big fan of Christmas,” Aaron says, like he’s reconsidering his image of Robert.

“I’m not,” Robert corrects him, words coming out in a rush. “Not unless you count the _Doctor Who_ Christmas special.”

Aaron’s laugh at this news is exactly how he’d pictured it last night; a snorted grin with a shrug of the shoulders, followed by a a shaken head.

“Why am I not surprised?” Aaron asks, though his teasing comes across as fond.

“Probably because I’m a ‘big, fat _nerd_ ,’” Robert recalls, his own smile matching the one on Aaron. “Thought you knew that by now.”

Aaron rolls his eyes and Robert quickly looks around the pub before settling back on the man in front of him.

“So…” He begins, finally feeling like he’s regained his footing. “Guess my pint’s on you then.”

Aaron’s eyebrows shoot up, and he looks like he’s considering it. But then he nods behind Robert and says, “Or you could play me for it.”

Robert looks over his right shoulder to find a dartboard hung on the wall, the darts sticking out of it all theirs for the taking.

“You want to play _darts_?” He asks, a little surprised at the choice of it. Though he supposes it makes perfect sense for Aaron; a straightforward game where the simple aim is to try and hit the centre, much like his co-worker’s style of working.

Aaron grins back. “Scared?”

“No,” Robert replies, not a care in the world beyond how good it is to spend this extra time with Aaron, away from work and stress of it. “Just thinking how good that pint’s going to taste when you pour it for me.”

“Bring it on _Sugden_ ,” Aaron challenges, walking right past him toward the board.

Robert would fire a comeback, but his tongue is a little tied, his mind locked on the feel of Aaron’s shoulder bumping into him.

:::::

He’d known he was the challenger when he’d agreed to this in the first place, so he hadn’t really expected to win. Even though it’s only been a week Robert feels he knows Aaron well enough to know he wouldn’t challenge him to a game he’s not more than halfway decent at. He’s seen it at work with some of their less attuned co-workers. Aaron may seem like he doesn’t really give a toss, but it’s only a front for how much he actually _does_. (Robert actually finds it kind of endearing, only because sometimes _he_ can be the complete opposite, feigning interest and care where there is none.) 

But in spite of Aaron’s victory, he’s stood behind the bar, pouring both of them their second pints of beer.

“Guess you could say, _I’m_ the real winner then,” Robert smirks across the counter.

Aaron rolls his eyes from where he’s standing. “Only because my mum wouldn’t be too happy about a stranger standing behind the bar.”

There’s enough beer and good cheer in his system to loosen his lips. “But I’m not a stranger, am I?”

He doesn’t mean for it to come out as suggestive as it does. But he’s just relieved that he didn’t utter his _other_ option. (“But I could be _less_ than a stranger if you’d let me…”)

As the blood rushes to his cheeks, he quickly distracts himself with a sip of beer, now thankful that he’s also seated. Because Aaron is looking right across him with bright, smiling eyes, the bar’s lighting bouncing off his hair, shoulders, arms, and chest, highlighting the panes of his muscles under the black jumper.

“No. Just a smug _loser_ ,” he answers, sipping his own drink. Robert’s cheeks grow hotter.

“Alright then,” he challenges, in a bid to cool down. “How about best two out of three?”

Aaron just stands there, silently watching him and causing Robert’s heart rate to increase. It’s almost like being back at the office but several times better.

When he finally responds, it’s in the affirmative. “Fine, you’re on. But if you lose, you’re paying _double_.”

Robert raises his eyebrows at this turn at events. But he still grins and nods in playful competition. “Good thing I like a challenge, _Dingle_.”

He slides to get off the stool and onto his feet and in walks Andy and Katie.

It takes a second for everyone to recognise each other, and another for the blood to drain out of Robert’s face; his pulse in his ears now for a completely different reason.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Andy asks with a resentful kind of venom. Beside him, Katie’s eyes narrow.

Robert can feel Aaron’s presence hovering just behind his left shoulder. He nods at him and answers, “Just having a drink with Aaron.”

He watches as both their eyes leap from him to Aaron and spark with recognition; two minds racing to form one similar conclusion.

Robert knows he could have said “co-worker,” and that he could have said “mate.” Instead, he chose to just go with simply, “Aaron.” Because he knew his brother and his ex-girlfriend and how their minds would work, and he knew the implication would not be misconstrued. And just for this moment, at least in their minds, he wants to pretend that he and Aaron actually _are_ dating and boyfriends. It’s silly, and stupid — not to mention _completely_ wrong — to imply it as such, but what better way to reiterate that none of this is a phase, or even about them? That it’s more about him and _his_ being bisexual than any attempt to shake their foundations as a couple. (There’s a game he used to play in that first month of the break up with Katie, when he’d first sought solace in the arms of other men he’d meet in nightclubs sometimes. It was just him mentally playing out different scenarios of how Katie would react to the news of his coming out about his sexuality. Would she happy? Would she accept him? Guess now he has his answer.)

“So no apology then?” Andy asks, because even _now_ , even when confronted with what appears to be proof of Robert’s sexuality, it would appear that his big brother would choose to cast a blind and ignorant eye. But honestly, that’s perfectly fine, Andy never having been the smartest — or most understanding — tool in the shed.

“What for?” Robert asks, an almost childish sullenness rising to the surface; even Aaron’s silent, solid presence and the heat radiating off him, can’t seem to stop it. “The cheque I wrote you to buy your little farm? Or the loan I gave you for your half of the wedding?”

Andy’s face goes red and he steps forward like he’s going to charge Robert. That petty part of him ensures he stands his ground; stands there without flinching in open challenge. Studying his brother now, Robert thinks that if it were humanly possible there would be steam coming out of his ears. Good. That’s the response he was going for.

“All the money in the world can’t buy class,” Andy spits out. It’s not even a quarter of the insult he thinks it is.

Robert sneers in response, happy to fire his next shot. Let Andy Sugden try and come at him. “Even if it could, you couldn’t afford it.”

His eyes flash to Katie, where he’s met with a cold kind of fury. He has her over a barrel and she knows it. He’d known she’d been guilty spending _his_ money on her wedding to another man — his _brother_ no less — but Andy had kept insisting that she get the event of her dreams; practically threw Robert’s money at her. What could she do but say yes?

“No comeback?” Robert taunts, gazing from wife to husband. “ _Words_ too expensive for you now?”

He knows he should rise above it and be the better man, like he’s been trying to so far. But here they both stand silently judging him, when all he’s done is nothing but give. 

“You sure you want to hang out with _him_?” Andy asks, shifting gears and aiming for something else; Robert’s raw and beating heart. His co-worker, his friend, _Aaron_.

Robert doesn’t turn to look at him, scared of what he’ll see. If he’s being honest, he’s surprised he’s even standing. There’s a bullet wound of pain spreading through his chest, and what’s worse is the knowledge that he could have prevented it.

Aaron didn’t _have_ to see this side of him rear his ugly head. But just like all things when it comes to Andy, Robert can’t help himself, can’t help that extra dig. Well, now it looks like he’s dug a hole away from someone who in a short amount of time has already become one of his favourite people.

So he tries to re-calibrate, perform social triage; tend to the emotional wounds that are more gaping.

Shaking his head, he dismisses Andy’s question, doing his best to pretend like it didn’t hurt him.

“Don’t listen to him,” Robert replies, with as much vehement smugness as he can. Though a small part of him is silently pleading that Aaron ignores that part and heeds him. “He’s only flattering when he’s begging for money. Speaking of which, do you need me to buy you your pints as well?”

It’s a bit needlessly cruel, that much even he concedes. But it’s in for a penny, in for a pound at this point. He’s probably lost any chance he could have had at even a friendship with Aaron. Might as well go for the jugular with Andy.

His brother opens his mouth, and then shuts it again. He looks like one of those goldfish Vic had had when they were younger — only, somehow, much more stupid. Unable to come up with a response, he just turns around and storms out of the pub, Katie left standing on her own.

Robert would laugh, if she didn’t shake her head at him, angry tears in her eyes, before she turns and follows after her husband.

He knows he should feel bad, but right now it just feels like victory. That he faced down the two people who’d made him feel everything he’d feared about himself was true; made him doubt himself in the worst way possible.

But soon that fades away and all that is left is guilt and hot shame — and the inability to look over his shoulder at Aaron. Robert decides that this is probably the best time to make his getaway as well. He doesn’t think he can stand a reunion with his brother and his ex-girlfriend-turned-sister-in-law _and_ Aaron’s probable disapproval.

He can’t believe he just showed him the worst part of himself.

_And all without even a first date._

“Robert-” Aaron begins, and it comes out soft and tentative. However, that’s the last thing Robert wants to hear right now.

“I should probably go,” he blurts out, words all a tumble. “I’ll see you tomorrow at work, yeah?”

He doesn’t turn back, doesn’t even hazard a look. He runs from the one thing that could really hurt him.

:::::

**MONDAY**

He decides that the best form of an apology would be an honest explanation — that and a powdered cream doughnut. (He’d thought about a cookie, a subtle callback to their text chat on Saturday, but he can’t try and sand over the cruelty of last night with something that cutesy. To be fair, he knows full well that Aaron doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but Robert’s always been of the belief that any divide can be bridged with the aid of a fresh pastry. Especially when it’s one of his favourites. In any case, he’s repentant enough to admit that he’s hoping that Aaron’s stomach is the way to forgiveness.)

So he marches across their floor over to Aaron’s desk, paper bag in hand, only to be met with the sight of…Adam Barton stepping out of an elevator to and arriving smack dab in the middle of an office hallway. 

(He knows it’s improbable, but even in the cold light of the start of a new work week Robert remains convinced that despite everything he said to Andy last night, he’s _still_ a better boyfriend option for Aaron.) 

“Ay! If it isn’t the work husband!” Adam teases, too happy for this terrible morning; his voice already grating on Robert’s ears. “Hey man, do ya think you can do me a favour?” 

Robert furrows his brow. Did Aaron not tell his boyfriend what happened? 

 _Why the hell is he being so friendly?_  

He clings to that inkling, that Aaron may not deem yesterday as bad as Robert thinks he might. He feels a little better about the two of them and his doughnut. 

Just to be safe though, he checks in again. “You sure you want _me_ to help you?” 

He studies Adam’s face for a reaction but he just chuckles like Robert’s being the silly one. “Don’t worry mate, it’s not rocket science.” 

Robert doesn’t think Adam knows the first or last thing about _any_ kind of science. But this might be a great way to get back in Aaron’s good books. 

Adam holds up something black, and not all that familiar. It takes Robert a short moment to realise it’s a hoodie. 

“Can you make sure Aaron gets this?” Adam asks, handing it back towards him. “He left it at my place on Saturday. Too busy textin’ I suppose.” 

He does his best to hide it, but his ears still perk up, at the merest mention of Aaron being distracted while with Adam — and the revelation that _he_ was the one responsible for it. Robert can’t help it but it kind of turns him on, the thought of Aaron focusing on him while with his boyfriend. 

He wonders if Aaron and Adam have argued about him. And if Adam considers him a big enough threat to their relationship. (Probably not, if he’s still calling him Aaron’s ‘work husband’ _and_ asking for this favour.) 

 _He was texting me while he was with you_ , Robert gloats at him mentally, and he’s about to bring it up verbally, but then he remembers last night and how he’d felt after, prompting him to do his best to let go of whatever this side of him is. He doubts Aaron will find it attractive. (He’s almost distracted by one of his new favourite topics: the question of whether Aaron finds _him_ attractive. Robert certainly hopes so. He did spend the whole of last week trying to ascertain this. But then again, Aaron does also find Adam inexplicably easy on his eyes, so Robert has to concede that Aaron’s judgement is either both mildly impaired at best, or just simply highly subjective.) 

“Yeah, sure,” Robert says, taking the hoodie from him. “Just going over now.” 

 _Just going to beg for the reinstatement_ _of our friendship_. 

Adam smiles at him like a man who doesn’t suspect Robert has feelings for his boyfriend. Robert does his best to hide the doughnut. 

“Ah thanks! You’re a legend mate!” 

Then he steps forward, slaps Robert’s upper arm and shuffles off towards the elevator, leaving him standing there a little stunned and clutching Aaron’s hoodie. 

It’s soft to the touch and warm in his hands, and Robert wishes he could see it on Aaron. He pictures it being one more layer to peel back off that firm, barrel chest, or the perfect grips to pull him towards him. The thought of kissing Aaron makes him sigh internally. 

He looks down at his hands, at the hoodie and the doughnut, and he reckons it’s a good enough plan towards the re-establishment of their friendship. If he can get Aaron to listen, to really hear him out, he might just be able to convince him to also hate Andy.

 _Besides_ , Robert tells himself making his way forward once more. _This shouldn’t be so hard. I am, after all, an ad man._

He’s always been able to sell anything and anyone; his silver tongue and gift of gab coming in useful with account holders and new clients. Anyone, that is, except Andy and Katie — and now, possibly Aaron.

Something inside him wavers, nervous about that worst-case outcome; not wanting Aaron of all people to join that list of people; that small club of people who hate him. 

He almost turns tail several times on the rest of his way over to Aaron’s desk, wanting to delay this meeting as much as he can; live in a world still brimming with the possibility of their friendship. 

_He didn’t tell Adam. That has to mean something. That or they never got a chance to talk after last night._

Robert swallows nervously, Aaron’s desk coming in sight — as does his shirt and tie form, a suit jacket draped across the back of his desk chair. His eyes are trained on the computer screen in front of him, bottom lip between his teeth. He looks lost in thought…

And then, as if sensing Robert he looks up and over at him; their eyes meeting across the distance. Robert wonders what he looks like to Aaron, in his blue shirt, blue jeans, and blue suit jacket. (He knows it’s silly but working with adverts has made him put stock in colours. He’d never admit it to anyone but he doesn’t feel more at home than when he’s surrounded by — or draped in — blue. It had been both his mother’s and his favourite colour.)

Robert wills his feet to move, and he makes his way closer. Aaron watches him walk over the entire time.

 _He looks good_ , Robert thinks. _Really, really good_. 

Aaron’s slim fit white shirt perfectly matches his skinny black tie. He’d worn it on that first day of work and it had taken Robert’s breath away. One week later, and Robert can confirm it’s still having the same effect. He wonders if he should open with a physical compliment. 

All that goes out the window, the second he’s one foot away from Aaron. Eric Pollard choosing that exact moment to talk to them. Robert quickly shuts his mouth again. 

“There you are!” The advertising executive calls out. Robert turns to his right to see him walk up to them. 

Despite his older age, the cut of Eric’s dark grey suit is sleek and modern, the older man refusing to cling on to days gone past and only facing forward. It’s one of the reasons the agency is doing as well as it is, Eric’s age brings with it a whole wealth of experience and an uncanny ability to anticipate trends unlike any of their competitors. (It also doesn’t hurt that he’s a shrewd businessman, knowing when to lure away talent. Like he had with Aaron and his previous company, Scrapyard Designs.) 

“Clear your schedules this afternoon,” Eric tells them both turning from Robert to Aaron. “There’s a big client meeting I want the two of you to handle.” 

The surprise Robert is feeling is reflected on Aaron’s face, both their eyebrows shooting up at Eric’s directive. 

Their boss doesn’t wait for them to react before he continues, “Sharma Sweets have decided they don’t want to work with Hope & Walker for their Valentine’s Day ad campaign after all. Something about it being too outdated.” 

There’s a gleeful sparkle in Eric’s eyes. Robert’s never seen him _this_ excited. Not even when he’d married his third wife, Faith. 

“No one else knows about this just yet, so we only have today to convince them to sign up with us. Before any of the other agencies try and snap them up,” Eric goes on to inform them, his focus now on Robert. “I’ve set up an appointment with them for just after lunch. I want both of you to drive up there and sell them on working with us.” 

Any protest about working with Aaron that Robert might bring up dies on his lips. Eric pounding the final nail on this assigned partnership’s coffin when he says, “I don’t need to tell you two how lucrative this account would be. That’s why I want to have both of my best men on it.” 

He doesn’t wait for them to respond or even offer up a question, his words a cut and dry order. Eric walks off, his part of the job done. The rest of it now in Robert and Aaron’s hands. 

Speaking of which, Robert looks down at his. He’s still carrying the hoodie and the doughnut. He lets out an internal sign of relief. Thankfully, Eric didn’t see or note any of it, his mind fixed on the prize that is Sharma Sweets. (Over the last three years that Robert has worked at Pollard & Co., he’s come to understand that landing a sweets or chocolate company’s account has been Eric’s white whale. Has been ever since he’d worked with Cadbury with his last agency in the ‘80s.) 

Robert turns back to Aaron, who stares at him expectantly. He’s leaning back in his chair now, arms crossed in front of him. Somehow the whole image is even hotter than before, a flush creeping up his neck. But Robert knows better than to focus on that right now. 

Unsure how to approach this, he clears his throat. He then holds out the hoodie and offers up a one-word explanation: “Adam.” 

“Ta,” Aaron nods, indicating the empty space in front of him. Robert tries not to notice the well-defined bulge of Aaron’s biceps as he not-so-gracefully places the hoodie on the table. Aaron doesn’t question how he got it. Doesn’t even bat an eyelid. 

There’s a bit of an awkward pause and then Robert says, “I’m sorry. About yesterday…” 

Unfortunately, that’s as far as he’d practised in his mind, so the rest is a bit of jumbled word freefall. 

“It’s Andy, he just…” Robert shakes his head. “He brings out the worst in me and I’m sorry you had to see that. I understand if you don’t want to work together after this.” 

He pauses briefly, swallowing to wet his nerves-parched throat, still gripped with the fear of Aaron’s reaction. “That’s why I was so rude about leaving.” 

When he finally does look at Aaron he sees no judgement on his person, those blue eyes as light in their consideration as they’ve ever been. 

“Andy’s a tit. But I’m sure you had a good reason,” Aaron shrugs casually, as if that explains everything, including his understanding reaction. It’s weird and inexplicable, but Robert kind of gets it. (He _has_ called Andy a tit several times, in his own head. But something about Aaron doing so out loud does something inside him, his heart skipping a beat without warning.) 

“Now,” Aaron says, honing in on the paper bag clutched in his hand. “You going to give me that or eat it yourself?” 

Robert looks down at the doughnut and then back up at Aaron. 

“What makes you think it’s for you and not for me?” He teases, making a show of inspecting the bag. 

Aaron’s expectant expression hasn’t changed when he looks at back at him. Only now, it’s a little more triumphant. 

“Because,” Aaron says, a hint of smugness ringing through. “I’ve seen ya eat a doughnut. That wouldn’t still be here if it were yours.”

Robert’s cheeks warm in embarrassment. “You’ve seen me eat a doughnut?” 

 _Shit._ He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. 

In front of him, Aaron doesn’t look the least bit flustered. He just teases, “Don’t think ‘eat’ would be the right word. But yeah, I have.” 

Robert hands him the bag in an agreement of concession, not wanting to keep up this pretense in his newfound embarrassment. (He thinks of that brief moment last week, when he’d spilled a smidge of custard on his shirt, before licking his thumb and wiping it away and then licking away he evidence. He wonders, _Did Aaron see that as well?_ ) 

“So when do you want to leave?” He tries to change the topic, anything to get them off the topic of his eating.

“How about in an hour?” Aaron asks. “Still need to look up the factory’s location.” 

Robert nods. That seems like a good plan, so he turns to leave. 

“Guess I’ll see you later.” 

:::::

He doesn’t know what he’d expected when Aaron said he’d drive them, but it certainly wasn’t _this_. Robert sits gripping the handle above the door as Aaron speeds down a country lane, a direct contrast with the music filling the car; the slow-paced instrumental tones of some indie band Aaron had selected before they left.

“Oi, slow down Boy Racer!” Robert warns as Aaron barrels around a bend. “Pretty sure Eric wants us both there in one piece.”

“No point going if we’re going to be late,” Aaron points out, both hands on the wheel and his eyes on the road. For that, at least, Robert figures he should be thankful. 

“Don’t think we could be late even if we _tried_ ,” Robert grumbles. “Not with you out here trying to break the sound barrier.” 

Aaron slows down just a little in response, and Robert relaxes in turn, finally feeling like maybe he can actually catch his breath again. 

Now a little more at ease, he turns his attention to the radio, the guitar strumming at odds with his mile-a-minute heartbeat. 

“Touch that and you die,” Aaron lightly threatens. He’s half smiling and still staring at the road when Robert looks over at him. 

Robert grins and goes ahead and does so anyway, waiting for Aaron to make good on his threat against him. He doesn’t, so Robert jumps through Aaron’s obscure playlist until he finds something he does recognise and like: Ryan Adams’ acoustic covers of Taylor Swift’s _1989_. 

As the stripped down version of “Shake It Off” fills the car, Aaron rolls his eyes in amusement. Outside their windows the English countryside is visible in more detail as the car continues to slow down a bit further. 

“Surprised you didn’t pick any Christmas music,” Aaron says, finally glancing over. “You know, Mariah Carey and all that.” 

Robert shakes his head, though he thinks of Vic and smiles. “No, that would be my sister. Don’t think she’s ever met a Christmas song she hasn’t loved to death.” 

Aaron smiles. “Oh, right. You’re not a fan of Christmas.” 

Robert gives Aaron a pointed look. 

“Don’t say it like that! You make me sound like the Grinch,” he doesn’t wait as he goes into his Jim Carrey impression. “‘Blast this Christmas music. It’s joyful and triumphant.’” 

Aaron doesn’t react, just continues driving. Robert’s cheeks redden when he realises what he’s just done. His mouth goes off before he can stop it. “What? Nothing clever to say?” 

Aaron just shrugs and looks over at him, all deadpan and serious. “That’s just how you normally talk, innit?” 

It takes a second but then he bursts into a laugh and a smile, and Robert feels it spark in his chest, a ball of light warm and glowing. He shakes his head and looks out the window, surveying yet another stretch of farmland. 

But apparently, Aaron isn’t done with him yet. “Just make sure you keep all that to yourself. Don’t want you scarin’ off the client.” 

“Yeah, well make sure you keep all your jokes to yourself,” Robert responds with just as much gusto. “Not sure they’ll be in the mood for the Aaron Dingle Comedy Hour.” 

“So, you think I’m funny,” Aaron says, zooming in on the truth like he always does. 

Robert makes a concentrated effort not to look at him, his cheeks on fire. “No, I think you’re an idiot.” 

Aaron’s response is cut short by his mobile phone ringing. Robert turns to look at it, in case it’s Eric calling. They’d let him know that Aaron would be the one driving before they’d left. (Robert now thinks it was a great safety precaution.) 

Only when he brings it closer, his heart begins to sink further and further, the image of Adam and Aaron dancing on the screen; Adam’s lips are plastered to Aaron’s cheeks, Aaron rolling his eyes but smiling, every bit the reluctant boyfriend. 

“Who is it?” Aaron asks, breaking the spell. 

It takes Robert a second to answer. “Adam.” 

He pauses briefly and then quickly adds, “Should I put him on speakerphone?” 

Aaron thinks for a moment and then shakes his head. “I’ll just call him back later.” 

Robert nods and puts the phone down and away, turning the screen — and the offending photo — away from him. He doesn’t know why but something about it _hurts_ , an ache in his chest he’s never quite felt before. There was something in that photo that screamed of love and devotion. Maybe it was the stubborn affection in Aaron’s smile; him willing to let his boyfriend be that big and loud and messy about their love. Robert’s never had anything like that with anyone. Not even during the months he was with Katie. (While he’s not averse to posting smug and flattering selfies of himself and his female partners, Robert’s never considered doing that with a male one — let alone displaying his affection with a kiss on the cheek, some scared part of him always insisting _that_ part of him be private.) 

There’s a quiet lull as Ryan Adams tells them to _shake it off_ one last time, and it’s enough for Robert to work to push that thought out of his head. He clears his throat and tries not to think about Aaron and Adam, as he focuses on the upcoming meeting with the client. 

“So, how do you want to approach this?”

:::::  
 

He feels like he understands Eric’s ambitions a lot clearer now that they’re standing at the site of the Sharma’s main factory. It’s a sprawling building, stretching out in both directions; like a manor house converted into a factory, with neat andwell-maintainedd lawns out in front, aesthetically pleasing and welcoming for visitors. Robert wouldn’t be surprised to hear they offer tours for those curious. It feels like something out of _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_. 

Robert tells Aaron so and he chuckles. “Do you ever not have a nerdy reference?” 

He stares right back, a little affronted. “It’s not nerdy. It’s a pretty popular book.” 

“Same thing,” Aaron argues goodnaturedly with a shrug. 

They’re interrupted by the arrival of Priya Sharma, who greets them in the main building lobby, the air around them warm and smelling of chocolate. 

“Feel a bit like we’ve won a golden ticket,” Robert tells her excitedly as they follow her to her office. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Aaron shake his head. In front of them Priya laughs in delight. 

“I used to love those books as a girl!” She tells him, a big smile on her face. “I would tell everyone my dad was Willy Wonka.” 

“How do you know he _wasn’t_?” Robert teases, completely in his element. Priya lets out another laugh and he looks over and smiles at Aaron. He seems happy this is going well so far. 

“Good point,” Priya counters as she offers them a seat, and then waves at over at a few jars of samples on her desk. “Can I interest you in some of our chocolate?” 

Robert studies the sweets in front of him and then looks right back at her, “And you’re sure none of these will turn me into a giant blueberry?” 

“Yeah. He already wears too much blue as it is,” Aaron suddenly pipes up from beside him. Robert looks at him in surprise. He hadn’t known Aaron paid that close attention to his wardrobe. That concern falls away when he sees Aaron’s face, quickly replaced by a new one. There’s a smile on his lips, but it doesn’t seem to reach his eyes, a glint of something in them that Robert can’t quite recognise. 

Aaron’s comment earns another laugh from Priya, who takes a seat at her desk. She looks at them and winks, “And that’s why we stopped all gum production.” 

Robert grins. “Then we’re already off to a good start.” 

He takes a sampling of each sweet in his hand and then offers some to Aaron, whose hand seems to waver, almost hesitate, before he reaches forward and picks one up; a chocolate button, one of Robert’s favourites. He tries to ignore the spark that tingles through his hand when Aaron’s fingers brush against his palm, resists the urge to make a fist and savour it. 

He swallows the piece of coconut sweet in his mouth and thinks of Adam kissing Aaron, forcing himself to focus on Priya instead. 

 _Work first. Love life later._  

He clears his throat and looks away from Aaron’s eyes, but the blue of them remains seared into his brain and vision. 

Priya’s deceptively young-looking, but extremely smart and savvy, and once they put aside their Roald Dahl- inspired joking, she seems to like what they’re saying about the direction they want to take the company’s marketing; their desire to work on establishing a stronger brand identity.

“When my great-grandfather first started this place, he’d wanted Sharma Sweets to focus on love and family,” she tells them confidently as she looks around the office. Robert wonders if this space was ever his once. “And that’s what I want to bring us back to. Sales are doing well and everything is stable. And while I want our brand to be the first name on everyone’s lips, when it comes to buying sweets for Valentine’s Day or even Halloween, I do want to bring us back to that particular vision.”

“You want us to come up with a new image, but still keep it connected,” Robert ascertains, a slight question in his voice. 

“I want people talking about us,” Priya corrects, looking him straight in the eye. “But I want them doing that while thinking about their families.” 

There’s a little _click_ of understanding and Robert gives her a nod. Connecting with clients has always been his favourite part of the job. It’s the thing that’s always made the most sense to him, and as far as he’s concerned, he’s always excelled at it. (He’d once told Vic it was like “dating without any awkwardness.” And sitting across from Priya right now, it feels as true as it ever was.) 

“With chocolate this great, they really should be,” he tells her, popping another one of the buttons in his mouth. He’s not lying when he says he actually loves them. He’s considering buying a bag of them for Vic the next time she visits.  

He looks over at Aaron, reaching out for his friendly banter and support, but instead it’s like hitting a blank brick wall. Aaron giving him absolutely nothing. Robert’s eyebrows furrow, but he keeps up the friendly smile, trying to read what could be the problem. Priya doesn’t seem to notice because Aaron’s still smiling and warm (or at least doing _his_ version of it). It’s just that there’s something extra — something _Aaron_ — that’s missing. 

Does he disagree with something he said? Robert admits he did tweak their general strategy. But he’d only done that so they’d connect with Priya, and so far she seems to actually be enjoying talking to both of them. He wouldn’t be surprised if they walk actually walk away with this contract this afternoon. And yet, it bothers him that Aaron doesn’t seem as happy as he is. 

 _Am I missing something?_  

As if reading his mind, Aaron finally speaks. “Family’s well and good and all. But that’s what _everybody_ does. You’re going to need to do something different.” 

Priya’s eyebrows lift, and Robert’s spirits fall. He sighs to himself internally. 

 _And just when things were going so well_. 

“Not everyone has the same kinds of families,” Aaron says, and it feels like a statement; a gauntlet he’s throwing down in front of her. 

Robert would almost admire it if he weren’t also nervous about the Sharma Sweet policy. But to his eternal surprise, Priya immediately picks it up, rising to his challenge. “And that’s what I’d like to acknowledge.” 

She looks at Robert, before turning back to Aaron. “Sharma Sweets is all about inclusivity. If you haven’t noticed, we’re not your usual kind of family. Sadly, not every Indian father would want their daughter running the place. Which is why we want our branding to reflect that. ” 

That seems to make Aaron happy, because he gives her a brief nod, and then it’s like they come to a deeper understanding.

“I appreciate your honesty, bringing that up,” Priya tells him with a smile. She then turns to Robert who’s in the middle of a caramel chew and it widens. “And Robert, I appreciate that you’re a fan of our products. Be careful though, you might end up like Augustus Gloop.”

Robert laughs. “Trust me, if you have a chocolate fountain that would just pour whatever’s in those buttons in my mouth, I’d die perfectly happy.”

When she laughs, he can tell the deal is indeed done. “I’ll tell my father and brother we’re going to sign with Pollard & Co. But they are going to want to see some formal pitches for a Valentine’s Day campaign by Thursday. Do you think that’s doable?”

Robert looks at Aaron, who gives him a brief nod. Even though the lack of connection between them does kind of worry him, Robert looks back at Priya and smiles brightly. “And we look forward to pitching you then.”

“Eric’s going to be quite pleased,” Robert says as they head out to the car.

Walking beside him, Aaron just hums in agreement, not a whiff of his usual banter or teasing. Instead, he just looks thoughtful, if not a little withdrawn; there’s a wrinkle in his brow that looks like worry. 

Something inside of Robert sinks, a balloon slowly deflating. He wonders if he said or did something wrong.

:::::

   
The car ride back is awkward and tense, Aaron not having said one single word to him since they’d left the factory. He’s not even driving at his usual breakneck speed, seemingly lost in thought as they cruise through the country.

The same indie music continues to play between them, Robert not feeling like changing the playlist this time around, even though he’s pretty sure Aaron wouldn’t say or do anything if he did.

The cold wall of silence is enough to make Robert want to ask him. He’s replayed that entire meeting in his head, and nothing he’s said is wrong or out of order.

 _Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong_ , he wants to insist. But he’s just some co-worker, not Aaron’s boyfriend. _No, that would be Adam._ _Is that why he avoided the call?_

He’s about to ask Aaron when he notices the car slowing down. He’s about to ask what’s going on, when Aaron slams the wheel, the horn’s sudden beeping startling Robert.

“What’s the matter?” He asks. “Why we slowing down?”

Aaron gently guides them to a nearby lay-by. The car comes to a complete stop.

“Something’s up with the engine,” he eventually replies, words clipped and short. Each one feels like a pinch. 

Without any warning, Aaron gets out of the car and goes to lift the hood. Robert just sits there gaping.

After a minute of Aaron still standing outside, Robert goes over and joins him.

“Didn’t know you were a mechanic,” he tries teasing lightly.

But Aaron’s face remains serious.

“Yeah, used to be one when I was in uni,” he says distractedly, eyes on the prize. “Worked at my uncle’s garage for extra money.”

Robert thinks of Aaron in blue overalls and possibly covered in grease, and suddenly he’s not so cold anymore. He wishes his younger self could have met a younger Aaron. He _knows_ he’d have figured out he was bisexual a whole hell of a lot faster.

“We’re going to need a tow to the nearest village,” Aaron tells him with a sigh. Robert tries not to take it as an insult.

“I’ll try and see if someone can get us,” Aaron says closing the hood of the engine.

Robert nods and says he’ll tell Eric. “Maybe he’ll be fine with us working remotely for the rest of the day. Luckily I’ve got my work laptop in my bag.”

He’d hoped that at least _that_ would warm Aaron up, having had to sit through a week’s worth of constant teasing for the designer leather satchel he deigns to carry. But all it gets him is another distracted nod. Aaron walking away from him to talk on his mobile.

Robert’s heart sinks a little further.

:::::

He’s sitting on the hood of the car, still shivering in his thick brown winter coat, watching his breath turning into mist in front of him, when Aaron returns from his call and tells him the tow truck is on its way.

Robert tells him that Eric had indeed been pleased and told them they could expense everything and to carry on working. “He actually said, ‘Let’s bring this home, lads.’”

Robert smiles, and Aaron barely returns it, as he joins Robert and sits right next to him.

It’s funny — and maybe, just a tiny bit sad — but Aaron’s arm brushing against his warms Robert up more than the now-cooling engine between them. A low thrill running through him at Aaron and his’ close proximity.

He hadn’t noticed till now, that Aaron’s not wearing as many layers. Just a single black puffer coat. If anything, the weather doesn’t seem to bother him at all. (Robert secretly thinks Aaron would wear a t-shirt and shorts to the beach, even in the middle of winter.)

“Aren’t you cold?” He tries once again, another valiant attempt at thawing the icy man beside him.

Aaron remains distracted. “Hmm? Not really.”

Robert looks at him impressed. Aaron’ cheeks are barely pink. Another shiver runs through him when there’s a gust of winter breeze.

“Why don’t you go and sit inside?” Aaron asks, apparently having noticed his discomfort. He still sounds grumpy as he has been for the past hour though.

 _Because I like being here with you_ , Robert wants to say.

“Engine’s still warm,” he says instead, which is true, even if it’s not the entire reason. 

You can hear the wind blow through the neighbouring fields in the silence that runs cold between them.

“So, Priya’s pretty fit,” Aaron says out of nowhere, his eyes trained on the road they’d been driving on.

Robert’s so surprised he doesn’t know how to react, so he just blurts out, “Wait. You’re bisexual? Thought you said you were gay.”

That gets Aaron’s attention because he turns to face Robert. “No. I _am_ gay.” 

“Oh, I thought… When you said…” Robert says, trying to explain as he gazes right back at him. And then, “I am.”

He turns away, his face heating up furiously. “Bisexual, I mean.”

He’s said it out loud a few times since that first coming out to Andy, but that word’s always sounded so loud to his ears.

“I’m bisexual,” Robert says again, softly and more to himself; gets used to the feel of the word in his mouth.

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Aaron says, and now his voice sounds warm and gentle — everything he hasn’t been for the last couple of hours.

Robert turns to look at him, and sees that friendly smile on his face, and a small part of him wants to get lost in it forever. He clears his throat and looks away because it’s like staring into the sun; the heat of searing him slowly. “Yeah. Never really came out to anyone at work before.”

_I barely came out to myself._

“Well, thanks for telling me,” Aaron continues, still kind and gentle. Robert hears his message for what it is. _Thanks for trusting me with this piece of you_.

Robert nods and smiles right back at him; big part of him wanting to kiss him, press his lips against that smile wrapped in a beard and roll himself up in those kind blue eyes. 

_I’d trust you with the world._

“Then why’d you ask about Priya?” Robert questions, still unable to glean the point of that. (That, and it’s an attempt to distract from what he wants and might do if he isn’t more careful.)

“Dunno,” Aaron shrugs, though his cheeks seem a little pinker. “Thought you might have been into her.”

“Only as a client,” Robert tells him firmly. “I’d never do something like that.”

 _Not again_ , he adds to himself silently. _Not after what happened last time._  

He thinks of Greg and he thinks of Shanice, and how he hasn’t spoken to either of them since. (The latter he understands, she’d been quite upset when she’d found them in flagrante delicto. Apparently, she’d thought they’d had a bit of a special connection. Greg, however, had gone straight into denial. But with Andy as a close mate, what could Robert expect? He’d only ever wanted him for his body anyway.)

It’s like something’s shifted in Aaron when he simply says, “Oh. Good to know.”

“And here I thought you really knew me,” Robert ribs, pretending to be hurt by Aaron’s assumption. He elbows Aaron’s side in a bid to ease some of the tension.

“Know you too well,” Aaron says warmly — thought it’s a tiny bit muted — as he elbows Robert back. “Was actually scared you’d overdose on chocolate back there.”

Robert laughs, big and loud, feeling free professionally for the first time ever. He came out to a colleague and the world didn’t fall apart. He actually feels a whole lot better.

He grins at Aaron and pulls out one of the handful of chocolate buttons he’d grabbed and tucked in his coat pocket on the way out. He holds it up between them before leaning forward to take a bite of it.

“You never know,” he says, mouth full of chocolate and happiness. “There’s still plenty of time yet.”

He sees the way Aaron’s eyes flick down to his lips, and he panics and shoves the rest of the sweet in his mouth, before turning away and chewing rapidly.

He has to be strong and not give into himself. He can’t afford to do anything _that_ stupid.

:::::

If Robert Sugden were a praying man, he’d have long given up on god by the time the tow truck pulled into the nearest village. With each pothole Pete Barton — who’d seemed a nice enough fellow — had driven over, it had caused him to press into Aaron’s side a little bit more, their knees flush against each other, their arms practically melded as their fingers kept brushing at the sides of their tips.

Robert had spent the entire time shifting between savouring the feel of Aaron’s hard muscle against him, the heat it had radiated soaking through the thick lining of his coat, and cursing it, the fantasies forming at the back of his mind running wild and rampant; Aaron pressing him down against the hood of his car, Aaron pushing him up against the wall of that pub, even him and Aaron in a stall in the men’s washroom at work.

The smell of Aaron’s aftershave certainly hadn’t helped. Robert can still smell the faint apple-spiced sweetness with him standing even a few feet away, staring at his car, Pete stood there next to it with the engine hood up.

“I’m tellin’ ya, it’s going to take at least a day to fix it,” Pete says apologetically.

“Surely there’s something you can do,” Robert insists. He looks over at Aaron for another’s mechanic’s second opinion.

“No,” Aaron agrees with a sigh, scratching the back of his head. He looks as frustrated as Robert feels. “He’s right. Not much we can do.”

“I’d suggest booking a couple of rooms at the local B&B,” Pete suggests, a stab at being helpful. Then he grabs his clipboard and goes to pour himself some coffee.

Aaron turns to Robert. “What do you want to do?”

Robert sighs and fishes out his phone. “Guess I’ll call Eric. Let him know we won’t be in tomorrow either.”

Aaron nods. “I’ll go see about getting us some rooms.”

Robert looks up in time to see Aaron’s retreating form, the curve of Aaron’s bum moving away from him. “Don’t forget to expense it!”

:::::  
 

When he finds Aaron he’s arguing with an Indian woman at the front desk.

“What do you mean you don’t have any more rooms?”

“If you haven’t noticed it is quite close to Christmas,” she argues pointedly. The name on her tag reads ‘Manpreet’ “Emmerdale is quite famous for its Christmas festivities, Mr. Dingle. People booked their rooms months in advance. You’re lucky to get this one as it is.” 

“It’s fine, we’ll take it,” Robert says despite the clenching in his chest. He’s barely survived their two car rides together. How is he meant to share a _bedroom_?

Manpreet takes his company credit card and flashes him a smile.

“Pleasure doing business with you…” She reads the card. “Mr. Sugden.”

Robert nods at her and turns to Aaron as she rings them up. He tries not to be too offended by his earlier protestation. 

“Don’t worry,” he jokes trying to not to think of reasons why Aaron wouldn’t want to share a room with him. “My feet don’t smell _that_ bad.” 

 _Probably wants to have phone sex with Adam_ , he thinks belatedly, before pushing that thought out of his mind. 

Aaron’s face colours, but he still looks at him and raises a cool eyebrow. “Shows how much _you_ know.” 

Robert’s jaw drops, and Aaron lets out a chuckle. 

In Robert’s chest his heart flutters. 

:::::

He thinks Manpreet is joking when she first shows them their room. But if there’s anything Robert’s learned from the last few minutes of dealing with her is that she’s absolutely no nonsense — at least in the matters of business. So he stares at the single bed in the centre of the room, queen-sized and perfect for a couple. 

“Let me know if you need anything,” Manpreet says at the end of her brief tour of the room and the B&B’s facilities. Robert almost wants to ask her to repeat herself because he wasn’t listening.

All he can think is that the clenching in his chest is much, much worse. He’s gone from sharing a room to possibly sharing a _bed_ with Aaron.

When neither of them says anything Manpreet nods goodbye curtly and squeezes past both of them. She shuts the door behind her leaving them to themselves now.

Robert doesn’t dare look at Aaron, doesn’t want to know what he’s thinking. He doesn’t think he could stand to see him look dismayed — or worse, like this is a terrible mistake that he’s already starting to regret. So he decides to address the elephant in the room right away.

“I can take the floor,” Robert says, but his voice sounds unsure. He finally turns to look at Aaron. 

… and finds him looking incredibly incredulous.

“Robert, don’t be a muppet,” Aaron says, shaking his head. “We’re mature grown-ups. We can share a bed.”

“Pretty sure ‘mature grown-ups’ don’t call themselves ‘grown-ups,’” Robert points out, tone slightly teasing; some of the tension flows out of his shoulders. Humour has always been his choice for a defensive weapon. (Second only to lashing out in anger. He didn’t need Sun Tzu to teach him that. His mother’s death and father’s subsequent emotional abandonment had done that for him.)

“Speak for yourself mate,” Aaron says going forward and flopping straight onto the bed. “I’m plenty mature.”

Robert cringes a little when he sees Aaron’s shoes touch the hand-stitched quilt top. “At least take your shoes off, you animal.” 

Aaron grins and kicks them off while still sprawled across the covers like a bearded, well-muscled starfish. One of his shoes lands right by Robert’s feet. 

He rolls his eyes at that, but in his chest his heart is pounding furiously. Robert wants nothing more to go up to Aaron as he’s laying now, press him down, and kiss the smile right off him. 

He’s about to act on it when there’s a strange rumbling sound. Aaron immediately sits up on his elbows. He makes a face at his own body. 

“Was that you?” Robert questions, his eyes dropping to Aaron’s waist. Any excuse to picture him naked. 

“Skipped lunch, didn’t I?” Aaron explains sheepishly. It’s the first admission of nerves Robert’s seen from him all day. He smiles back in friendly understanding. 

“Why don’t I go pick us up something to eat?” He says, lightly kicking Aaron’s shoe away from him. “And you can get started on those pitches for Priya.” 

He steps forward and slips off the laptop bag he’s been carrying on his shoulder, holding the strap out to Aaron, who sits up properly and takes it from him, their fingers brushing together. 

Robert swallows and steps back as casually as he can, a current thrumming under the skin of his fingers. He stretches them wide as much as he can, his focus on dissipating it almost making him miss Aaron’s question. 

“-do you mind picking up some extra clothes?” Aaron asks, opening the laptop on the bed beside him. “Don’t really have anything I can change into. And I’d rather not sleep in this.” 

He gestures at his work shirt, tie, and slacks. But Robert’s more charmed by his reindeer socks, only noticing the little faces and yellow fabric now. Aaron notices his gaze and blushes faintly. “My mum.” 

Now it’s Robert’s turn to turn pink, a little embarrassed at being caught. He nods and says, “Uh. Yeah. Eric did say I could expense things.” 

“Great,” Aaron grins. It fades a little and he gazes back at Robert somewhat awkwardly. “And Robert…” 

“Yeah?” He asks, hating how eager and breathless he sounds. 

“Would you mind picking me up some underwear?” Aaron says, voice much quieter. This is the most unsure Robert’s ever seen him. “Haven’t really had a chance to shower yet.” 

“S-sure,” Robert manages, his mouth running dry. He stands there and nods a few too many times, before turning to exit, his fingers slipping on the door handle. 

Without looking back, he slips out the room door and shuts it behind him, glad he has an excuse to get away from Aaron, his mind now tormented with visions of him naked.  
 

:::::  
 

When he arrives back at the room, Aaron isn’t in there. But before Robert can open his mouth and call out for him, a door opens to the side, and out steps Aaron from the bathroom.

Robert’s jaw drops and he barely just shuts it, swallowing roughly as he takes in the sight currently in front of him; Aaron standing bare-chested with nothing but a towel around his waist. His hair is still damp and glistening.

“Back just in time,” he tells Robert with a smile. “Not sure if I left you any hot water though.”

Robert shakes his head, he definitely won’t be needing that. When his mouth finally works he holds out some of the many bags in his hands and says, “Bought you some clothes.”

Aaron takes them from him and keeps them on the bed, barely waiting before he starts digging around in them.

Robert goes around to the other side of it, the side he’s now mentally claimed as his, and watches as Aaron sorts through his shopping.

First, there’s the plain black t-shirt that he’d picked out for Aaron. He seems happy enough with that, dumping it on the pillow. Then he takes out a pair of matching Christmas sweaters. He makes a face and holds it up to Robert.

“Really?” He asks, frowning at them in judgement.

Robert shrugs. “That’s all they had at the village shop.”

Aaron picks the one he deems the lesser of two evils, and tosses the other one — a maroon and white number — over to Robert. He picks it up and folds it neatly. 

“You’ve got to be joking me,” Aaron groans in displeasure.

Robert smirks and looks up at him, already aware of what he’s found. Aaron stands there holding a pair of green boxers, the mistletoe print right above where the crotch would be. Robert doesn’t even attempt to hide his amusement.

“You said underwear,” he points out amidst laughter that’s constantly threatening to erupt. “You didn’t say what kind.” 

“You really expect me to wear this?” Aaron asks, clearly offended.

Robert holds up a similar green t-shirt from one of his bags. It has the same mistletoe but above the chest area. “At least we’ll be matching?” 

When Aaron’s glare doesn’t fade, he drops the act and looks at one of the bags. “There should be some regular plain ones in there.” 

Aaron tosses the boxers right back at Robert. “You’re a right idiot, you know that?” 

“Takes one to know one,” Robert fires right back, tossing the same article of clothing back to its unofficial owner. Aaron looks less than amused. But he doesn’t throw it back again, just shoves the offending item away into one of the bags, then grabs the purchases he does approve of and storms back into the bathroom.

“Never letting you shop for me again,” he mutters before the door clicks shut.

“Oh come on,” Robert calls out, feeling a little jolly and loud. “You know you love me!” 

It’s only after the words have left his lips that he realises what he’s said. He can’t be more grateful Aaron can’t see him as he stands now; red-faced at his own blatant flirting.

He’d told himself that he wouldn’t do this, wouldn’t lust after Aaron.

 _But he’s standing right behind that door, naked_ , his memory reminds him, clear in its wants.

Robert hopes he’s done fast, he needs to hop in the shower as fast as he can.

He’s grateful Aaron might have used up all the hot water.

:::::

He doesn’t think Aaron’s new ensemble is all that bad — though he has opted to keep it casual. He's sitting on his side of the bed in that same black t-shirt from earlier, only now it’s paired with a cheap pair of grey sweatpants, a sale on them at the shop.

For his part, Robert’s in that green mistletoe t-shirt, part of it an attempt to tease Aaron, part of it because it’s actually soft and comfortable. He’s paired it with his own darker grey sweatpants (part of a two-for-one offer) and a navy blue cardigan, for which he did take some flack from Aaron. (“Excuse me, Granddad. Have you seen Robert?”) But he’d brushed it off easily, more concerned about his own desire for warmth, as today had proven several times throughout the day, he doesn’t run as hot as Aaron. He continues typing up his agreed-to half of a proposal on the laptop, fingers flying across the keys quickly.

Over on his side of the bed, Aaron sits, legs stretched out and back resting across the headboard. He’s got his phone in his hands, where he’s scrolling and typing, using the wifi and their shared work cloud network to work as best as he can.

_Or maybe he’s just texting Adam._

“Why don’t we call it a day?” Robert asks loudly after the fourth time that idea has popped into his head in the last couple of hours, both of them having worked continuously since after their early tea time. (Robert had picked up coffees and snacks from the cafe down the street, had watched Aaron demolish _two_ sandwiches and a bag of crisps within a matter of seconds, making him grateful he’d thought to buy extras.)

Aaron must agree with him because he tosses his phone to the side. Robert glances down but sees that the screen has already gone dark, no chance to confirm his theory.

“Saw a pub earlier,” Aaron suggests after a few minutes of silence. “Fancy grabbing a drink?”

Robert shakes his head. He doesn’t need any added incentive to do anything he might regret in the future. “You go ahead. Thought I’d stay in and watch a movie.”

“Movie sounds good.” If Aaron’s disappointed by his choice, he doesn’t really show it. Just picks up the TV remote from the bedside table on his left instead. With a click of the button, the muppets are on screen; Kermit the frog doing his best to reason with Michael Caine’s Ebenezer Scrooge.

Aaron moves to change the channel, but Robert’s left hand shoots out stops him. “No, wait!”

It takes him a moment to realise he’s got his fingers wrapped around Aaron’s bare forearm, the warmth of him seeping through his skin. Swallowing nervously, Robert slowly lets go, bringing his hand back to his lap, where it lays practically buzzing. He takes a deep breath and focuses his attention.

“It’s _The Muppet Christmas Carol_ ,” he says, like it explains everything.

“Thought you weren’t into Christmas,” Aaron says, grinning like he’s caught him in a lie. 

Robert smiles and just replies, “My mum loved this movie. We used to watch it with her every year. Now sometimes Vic comes over and we watch it together.”

He wants to look away, but he really can’t help it. He’s stuck watching the light of realisation dawn in Aaron’s eyes as he immediately puts the two pieces together. 

The pause between them grows longer by the second, stretching onward and outward. Aaron breaks it when he turns back to the TV and says, with a shrug that seems just a _little_ bit too casual, “Don’t think I’ve ever watched it.”

Robert breathes out a silent sigh of relief, immensely grateful to Aaron and his kindness in the moment.

“You’re in for a treat,” he says, looking back over at the screen. “This one’s a bit of a classic.” 

“Guess I better take your word for it haven’t I?” Aaron says, settling in beside him. Robert tries not to notice that he’s sitting just that little bit closer. 

He puts away his laptop on his own bedside table and stretches his legs out in front of him, copying Aaron’s pose, hands in his lap. He can’t help but notice how the navy blue of his socks look drab when compared to the bright colours on the feet laying out next to him. 

Over on his left, Aaron lets out a chuckle at something unfolding on screen. Robert smiles at the sound and focuses more of his attention on the movie than the man beside him. However because he’s himself and he can’t help one last dig, he says, “Good thing I’m never really wrong then.”   
 

:::::

Robert wakes up, and all the lights in the room are switched off and he’s tucked underneath the covers. Somehow, there’s an extra duvet cover specifically on him, the weight of it comforting as it traps his body heat around him, nestling him in a soft cocoon of warmth..

It’s only when he rolls over that he becomes aware of two very big things. 

The first is that Aaron is sound asleep next to him, his snores ringing in his ears. The second is the arm he’s got draped across his shoulders. Robert pauses mid-action unaware of what to do, continue forward or go back to how he was laying. But beside him Aaron seems too deep into his sleep of the dead to really notice what he’s doing. So he settles back down and nestles a little bit closer; Aaron laying on his side so his chest is facing right towards him, Robert’s face right up against it. 

Yes, he knows it’s wrong, and yes, he knows he shouldn’t do it. But according to the glow-in-the-dark alarm clock he’d spotted on the nightstand next to him, it’s three in the morning and he’s a little too sleep addled to think that clearly. 

As his eyes start to droop again, sleep claiming him once more, he swears he can feel Aaron’s grip across him tighten. 

:::::

**TUESDAY**

Aaron’s mouth is on his, and Robert’s hands are on his cheeks, and he’s kissing him like his life depends on it. A moan sounds loudly in his ears, but Robert doesn’t care. No one’s going to disturb them in this layby. 

Aaron’s grip on his sides grows more firm, tugging him closer, as Robert responds in kind, groaning into his mouth as their tongues slide against each other; savouring a moment he’s been wanting to for ages. 

It’s only when Aaron moans again that Robert really starts to realise that the sound is more muted, with a sharper edge to it than he’d have expected — like it isn’t coming from the man in front of him, but rather through a solid surface. 

When his eyes snap open, he sees that there’s sunlight illuminating the room, bouncing off the walls and signalling that it’s morning. There’s another groan in his ear and he realises that the solid surface in question is actually Aaron’s _chest_ , the noise echoing and rumbling through his internal cavity to hit Robert’s left ear. A moment later said space starts to shift from right underneath him, twisting and turning, as Aaron adjusts his sleep position. 

Though one thing remains constant and it’s the arm he’s got thrown across the back of Robert’s shoulders, his hold on Robert tightening ever so slightly, as if making sure he’s in place even if his entire body has moved, they’d remain in constant contact. It’s in the middle of this that he comes to another realisation, that his right hand now rests directly on Aaron’s chest, rising and falling softly with each inhalation; tracking the breaths in and out of Aaron’s body, feeling the firmness of him under his fingertips.  

Robert’s own breathing is too fast and shallow, no part of him able to relax after this full body assault on his senses. More information is flooding his brain each second he’s awake longer; the left knee he has curved up and leaning against Aaron’s right thigh, the line of his own chest pressed up against Aaron’s side, his own breaths slightly constricted by Aaron’s. 

And to make matters worse, his brain isn’t the only thing waking up, Aaron’s sleepy moans driving one specific part of his body crazy. 

Robert tries to hold off just so he can remain laying in this position and perhaps fall back asleep again — as wrong as he knows it is, he wants nothing more. (How many times do you get the chance to fall asleep being held by Aaron Dingle? And that too with loads of plausible deniability! After all, it’s not like _either_ of them could help it, clearly having cuddled up against each other in their sleep.) 

Despite his best efforts, Robert’s body continues to react, leaving him with only one real option if he doesn’t want to be found out or wake Aaron up with something as obvious as his real and aching attraction to him. He sighs and slides out from under Aaron’s arm and pads barefooted over to the bathroom, taking care to lock the door behind him. 

When he eventually emerges a lot more fresh-faced and alert, Aaron’s awake and sitting up in bed, checking his phone. They’re now back to being co-workers and not mostly-platonic sleep mates. Inside Robert, something saddens a little, already missing their waking positions. 

“Morning,” Robert greets him, voice quieter in the morning. There’s a chill in the air that he’s more than aware of. The blonde hairs on the back of his arms standing to attention.  

“Morning,” Aaron replies, looking up and right at him. His voice is hoarse from sleep and just a tiny bit scratchy, the roughness as loud and clear as one of his moans in Robert’s ear. 

He swallows as a wave of desire passes through him. His mind spins outward for any distraction. 

“Thanks,” he says gesturing at the pile of blankets signifying his side. “Sorry I fell asleep on you mid-movie.” 

What he means to say is, _Thanks for tucking me into bed. And thanks for pulling me close and holding me._  

Aaron looks over to Robert’s side and then back at him with kind, sleep-softened eyes. “It’s alright, we had a big day. Makes sense you’d pass out immediately.” 

“Did you at least enjoy what you saw?” Robert asks, still hovering in the bathroom doorway. He doesn’t know why he’s hesitant to leave this position. He wants to remember Aaron surrounded by this kind of softness, always. 

Aaron just returns his gaze. 

“Yeah, I did,” he says, with a nod and a fond smile as he remembers. “My favourite part was when you did your little grandpa snore.”  

He does an impression of an old man dozing off with his head lolling on his own chest, pairing it with the accompanying sounds as well. 

Aaron rounds off the impression with a chuckle of laughter. Robert just shakes his head. 

“No, but you’re right,” Aaron eventually concedes, with a moment of real genuineness. “It was very funny. Definitely a Christmas classic.” 

:::::

There’s only a few clothing options available to him as of yesterday, but Aaron doesn’t seem to kick up a fuss. When he leaves the bathroom he’s wearing both the black t-shirt and his navy blue and white sweater from yesterday, paired with a pair of black jeans Robert had picked up after seeing the reduced sales price. As a result, the fit isn’t quite right, the denim piling around Aaron’s legs at various points.

Robert himself is wearing that same blue work shirt and blue jeans from yesterday, but his is matched with that maroon and white sweater; the pair to Aaron’s in that set. Unlike Aaron, his whole outfit looks like it fits. But that’s mostly because he insists on having all his clothes altered, and wearing a belt to work every day. So on the whole, he doesn’t feel _too_ out of sorts, as he stands there looking mildly festive. 

By the time they’re both ready to leave the room, it’s apparently five minutes too late past the B&B’s breakfast-serving cut-off and Manpreet is not budging on her refusal to serve them. (“If I have to make an exception for you, I’d have to do so for any other guests. And my kitchen is on a strict schedule with our Christmas week celebrations.”) 

So while Aaron argues about the pointlessness of the “second B” of the establishment if they won’t even give him some toast or some bacon, Robert steps in and suggests the local cafe. 

“You know, I saw that kitchen,” Aaron grumbles as they both take a seat at their chosen table; a cozy space for two in the corner. “There was a plate of bacon just sitting right there on the table.”

“Well, it’s over now. Better to just leave it,” Robert says trying to assuage him as best he can, though secretly he too had seen those delicious looking rashers, and he’s just as annoyed as his co-worker is. “I’m sure the full English here is lovely.” 

A friendly young server brings over their coffees (an Americano for Robert, and a regular with two sugars and one cream for Aaron) and their food. Both men tuck in like it’s their first meal in ages. 

“Do you have wifi?” Robert asks when he comes back to clear their cups and plates. After having judged the space’s general atmosphere and quietness during their meal, he and Aaron had agreed that it might be perfect to set up camp and work in here. 

The young man, who has since introduced himself as “Ellis,” nods, and gives him the password. Robert smiles, grateful for the information. When he leaves, Robert reaches down and pulls his laptop out of the bag they’d brought along. In front of him, Aaron makes a call on his mobile. 

“Thought I’d give Pete a call,” he explains as he brings it up to his ear. “See if he can tell us when the car’ll be ready.” 

Robert nods at this suggestion, even if that same space within him is sad again. 

He knows it’s ridiculous but he’s really enjoyed their morning so far, savouring every last bit of it. It had been nice getting a chance to eat a proper breakfast with Aaron and share an annoyed rant over coffee, the whole vibe of it feeling quite domestic. 

Robert had sighed sadly to himself at various points during the meal, each swelling point of ease and comfort a reminder that it wasn’t really his. That _this_ is what Adam wakes up to in the morning — or perhaps, on the weekends. 

 _But this is good_ , he tries to convince himself as his laptop fires up. _Now you know what it would be like being in a relationship with another man. Can’t really say you’ve done_ that _before._  

His eyes flick to Aaron, and he knows then even if he doesn’t quite acknowledge that thought of it, the fear that twinges at the edge of his conscious. _What if I’ll never have this with anyone else? What if it’s only this easy because it’s with Aaron?_  

“You okay?” Aaron’s voice cuts through his brain. “You look worried. Everything alright with the presentation?” 

“Oh,” Robert says, realising that Aaron’s off his call. His eyes glance over at the laptop screen. 

“It’s nothing,” he says fumbling for an excuse. “Just worried it might be low on battery. Think I left the charger back in the room.” 

Aaron purses his lips and gives it a think. “Maybe check again. Pretty sure I put it in there last night.” 

 _Before or after you tucked me into bed right beside it?_ Robert asks, wondering what had prompted that gesture from Aaron, and what had been going through his mind at the time. 

When he does what Aaron says and gives the bag another check — though mostly for show — he sees that he’s right and that the charger is in there. Changing the subject he asks, “So what did Pete say?” 

“Should take another day to get the replacement part he needs,” Aaron answers with a shrug. “But he said he’ll call us with any updates.” 

At those words, something within him _sings_ , it’s silly but he’s glad to have these extra few hours with Aaron. 

 _We’ll only be working_ , his mind points out, trying to calm the rest of him. But gazing across at Aaron as he bites his bottom lip and scrunches up his brow while reading something on his phone, all he can think is, _Still, totally worth it._

:::::

He suggests another break when the latest of the pitch ideas they’ve been working on starts to feel like their brains have been running into a wall. (At least that’s how it’s felt for Robert, since he can’t quite speak for Aaron. But the look on his face suggests that he’s in a similar situation — a little frustrated and frazzled with the fact that this one is just not coming to them.) 

Their first idea had been inspired by Priya herself. A TV ad of an Indian grandfather and his granddaughter trading chocolates each year on Valentine’s Day, until one day she starts doing that with _her_ grandchild. The slogan: ‘This Valentine’s Day, show someone you care.’ (Robert had actually quite liked the idea, a real collaboration of his and Aaron’s. It fulfilled the brief in that had the cute factor and the charming family sentiment required, as well as the much desired Aaron Dingle stamp of approval.) 

The second idea had come from the Sharma Sweet website, a brief return to their original packaging, only this time produced with more high end materials. Robert had suggested framing it as both vintage _and_ limited, thereby conveying Sharma Sweet’s timeless quality, while also branding them a bit of a luxury. (Aaron hadn’t been too sold on this, but he’d given it a nod nonetheless.) 

The third and latest one is the one that’s giving them the most grief, neither of them quite able to agree on anything; nothing sounding good to either. 

It’s as he’s at the counter expensing their next round of coffees that Ellis, who’s serving him, catches hold of him. 

“Robert, right?” he asks, looking quite nervous. “Sorry. It’s just I wrote your name on your coffee order.” 

“What’s this about?” Robert asks, already a bit suspicious. He’s not sure if he likes where this is heading. 

“You and your boyfriend seem to really love Christmas,” Ellis says looking from Robert’s sweater over to Aaron’s. 

Robert’s too stunned to say anything — or even protest — so Ellis just takes that as agreement. “I was wondering if you might be able to help us decorate the cafe’s Christmas tree?” 

It’s only when he says it that Robert notices the plastic tree in the corner, looking sad and empty. It’s big green branches devoid of any decorations.

“I know I should have done it at the start of the month, but I thought I had lots more time before the competition, only I’ve just realised it’s today,” he looks at Robert pleadingly. “Please mate, I’d do it myself. But judging starts in two hours and this place is packed. There’s no way I can get away.” 

Robert looks around the cafe and realises it’s true, he hadn’t noticed the space fill up with people as he and Aaron had sat squirrelled away in their corner, too focused on what was in front of them. (And maybe in his case, _also_ Aaron.)

“So, can you and your boyfriend help?” Ellis asks again. “I won’t charge you for your next… _three_ rounds of coffee?”

“Yeah, but-” Robert recovers enough to finally be able to protest.

“Thanks mate! I seriously owe you one!” Ellis says, cutting him off before he can finish his sentence.

He thrusts a box of decorations from under the counter over at Robert. “I’ll bring your Americano and regular coffee straight over as soon as it’s ready.” 

He smiles and focuses on the next customer, not hearing the rest of Robert’s words. (Though in all fairness, he did half mumble it.) 

“... we’re not boyfriends.”

He stands there for a second and looks down at the box in front of him, flashing back to this last weekend he’d spent at Doug’s place, and all the times he’s gone over to Vic’s place before that, never really having a tree of his own. Nonetheless, he sighs to himself and then picks it up, deciding he’ll go over and ask Aaron if he’d be interested. It’s not like they’ll be working on much else anyway, both too blocked and stuck with their ideas.

“Don’t think that much coffee’s good for ya,” Aaron jokes when he sees Robert return with the box. He sets it down on the chair he’d been sitting on. 

“The guy at the counter asked if we could decorate the cafe Christmas tree,” Robert says, now his turn to explain. “Apparently there’s some kind of village competition and he never got around to doing it. But I told him we’d help him out and do it.” 

He leaves out the part about Ellis thinking they’re boyfriends, deciding he does not want to cause drama between him and Adam. 

Aaron gives him a look and it’s entirely too amused, like he’s trying to figure out something about Robert. “Usually when someone says they don’t like Christmas, they don’t spend their time wearing holiday sweaters, watching Christmas movies, and decorating.” 

Robert accepts the dragging for what it is. Though he still shakes his head and shuts his laptop, putting it away in the bag. 

When he looks back at Aaron he’s smirking up at him in amusement, clearly waiting for a comeback. But Robert continues to deny him, rolling his eyes. 

“Shut up and help me decorate.”

:::::

He’d never tell Vic this and he’d certainly never admit it to Aaron, but he’s actually having a lot of fun decorating this Christmas tree — and he’s fairly certain it has nothing to do with the decorations Ellis gave him. 

They’re small and wooden, some of them covered in glitter, all of them handmade like the stuff sold at those annual Christmas villages that spring up all over the country, but at least they’re not plastic or too gaudy. (Robert loves Vic but sometimes he does question her taste. Like that one set of baubles with painted-on fur coat wearing Santas.) 

“Let me guess,” Aaron teases, after a few minutes of going through all the stuff in that box. “You don’t even have a tree over at your place.” 

Robert doesn’t look at him, just focuses on hanging what he’s been given, Aaron taking the lead on this one. Robert tries choosing branches of varying heights to spread the decorations out. So far what he’s gotten done looks pleasing to the eye. 

His silence proves to be enough of an answer because Aaron barks a laugh. “Can’t say I’m surprised.” 

There’s no judgement in his voice, only humour. 

“There’s really no point,” Robert shrugs, mildly bashful as he hangs up a little wooden rocking horse. “I’m just going to have to take it down and chuck it out in a month anyway. It’s easier if I just go over to my sister or stepdad or stepmum’s place and help them out instead.” 

Aaron hums like Robert’s made a good point. He tries not to let it warm his insides _too_ much, already nervous about the pleased flush that’s made a home on his face. 

“So what holiday _do_ you like?” Aaron asks, untangling some fairy lights. He pretends to think before he adds, “Probably something like Halloween or Easter, so you can sit at home stuff your face with chocolate.” 

“Halloween’s fun because of the dressing up,” Robert parries half-heartedly, actually quite fond of that aspect of the holiday. “Also, you’re _meant_ to overdose on chocolate at Easter.” 

As if underscoring his point, he hangs up a hand-carved wooden bunny. It looks charming against the dark green plastic foliage. 

“But what about you?” He asks, turning the tables for once, eager to know just as much about Aaron. “What’s your favourite holiday?” 

Aaron gives it a think, still untangling those lights. “Guess it would have to be Christmas.” 

“Oh yeah?” Robert says, raising an amused eyebrow. What are the odds? “What does Aaron Dingle do for the holidays?” 

He waits a beat and adds, “Besides taking the mick out of poor, undeserving people.” 

Aaron snorts, and Robert feels like he can actually hear his thoughts — that Robert is neither poor nor undeserving. 

“Go over to my Uncle Zak’s place back in the village,” Aaron tells him, a soft smile on his face as he reminisces. “The whole family usually comes over and we eat and open presents. Then we get drunk and play games and pick fights with each other.” 

Robert smiles, even though he can feel it turn wistful. He’d probably love Christmas too if he did _that_ every year with his family. 

“That sounds nice.” He tells Aaron, meaning every word of it. 

“Thanks,” he accepts, turning his attention back to the pesky tangle in his hands. “It really is. Guess you could say it’s my favourite part of Christmas.” 

He looks up again and Robert catches his eye. They smile at each other across the tree. 

Aaron puts the lights down and looks behind Robert. “Just going to head to the washroom.” 

Robert nods and gets back to the task at hand: hanging a chain of little silver snowmen. 

“Excuse me,” Ellis’ voice interrupts his thoughts of Aaron and his most recent smile. Robert turns to his right and finds the server looking apologetic. “Could I possibly trouble you for another favour?” 

“You want us to run the rest of the cafe as well?” Robert jokes, hanging the carved ornament of a bear next. 

“That’s fair,” Ellis concedes, but he doesn’t stop looking any less hopeful. “But I was actually hoping you could look after my little sister. My stepdad’s stuck at work just a little while longer, and I need to go restock some stuff in the kitchen.” 

He gestures behind him, and Robert sees a not-so-happy little girl, her dark eyes gazing up at him in judgement and there’s a frown on her face. She crosses her arms in front of her and looks over at Ellis. “You want to leave me with this complete stranger?” 

“Robert’s not a stranger,” Ellis argues with the tone of an older brother who’s had this argument before. Robert recognises the look in his eye as the younger man looks down at his sister. “He and his boyfriend are helping me decorate the tree for the competition!” 

April looks around him and doesn’t seem all that impressed — though Robert isn’t sure if that’s her default setting. 

“It’s not that bad…” She shrugs after a little scrutiny. “If you _don’t_ want to win.” 

To which Ellis exclaims, “April!” 

He looks up at Robert with an apology in his eyes. Robert smiles because he appreciates her honesty. Reading the desperation and fear radiating off Ellis’ face, Robert finds himself letting out a sigh. 

“Go on then,” he agrees, letting out a sigh. “Might as well.” 

As Ellis celebrates with a fist pump of excitement, Robert throws in an addendum, “But you better get back here quickly.” 

He’s not sure who’ll tire of the other quickly, him (and Aaron) or April. 

Ellis nods furiously, gazing at Robert like he’s a godsend. So he adds another clause, “Also our price just went up to _two_ more rounds of free coffee.” 

“That I can do!” Ellis says over his shoulder as he rushes back to the till to serve a customer. 

Robert turns back to April, who’s still studying him intently. 

“Where’s your boyfriend?” She asks, looking behind Robert and then behind the other side of the tree where Aaron had been stood. 

“The washroom,” Robert tells her. And then, he adds in a serious-toned whisper. “Also, he’s _not_ my boyfriend.” 

She gives him a hard look and then says quite simply, “But you want him to be.” 

Robert stares back at her with his mouth open. Is he really _that_ obvious? 

“You should tell him you love him,” April tells him bluntly. 

He wishes things were that simple. But he can’t quite tell the little girl that. So he just says, “Trust me, I wish I could.” 

“My dad says making excuses is bad,” April says sagely. “He also says you should wait an hour before you swim. But I’ve done that and nothing’s really happened.” 

“What’s going on here?” Aaron asks, shooting Robert a look when returns back from the washroom. 

“Aaron, April. April, Aaron,” Robert says, introducing the two before he explains. “Told Ellis we’d watch her while he took care of some business.” 

Surprisingly, Aaron’s not so thrown by that. He just nods and goes along with it. 

“Should I be worried?” He jokes, picking up the fairy lights again. “Any time I leave you alone you sign us up for more stuff.” 

Robert blushes but shakes his head. “Well, April said she was going to help us.” 

He looks down at her, and she nods back at him. For a moment he’s reminded of Vic when she was younger, especially with her hair in two little plaits. “So really, I got us another helper.” 

“I’m excellent at decorating,” she tells them, reaching forward towards the tree. She then rehangs one of Robert’s ornaments. 

“Alright then,” Aaron says, accepting what she said. “Looks like we’ve found ourselves an organiser.” 

By the time Ellis gets back, most of the ornaments have been hung and the fairy lights are wrapped around it. All that’s left is placing the star atop it. 

“Can I do it?” April asks, eyeing the glittery silver tree topper in Aaron’s hands. 

He looks over at Robert and asks, almost like it’s a big decision, “What do you reckon?” 

Robert plays along. “It’s only fair that we let our organiser do it.” 

April beams, all lit up with excitement; a reminder that she’s so much younger than she seems. 

Robert steps forward, and lifts her up towards the top, Aaron handing her the star to place atop it. 

As he brings her down, she suddenly exclaims, “Look! It’s finally snowing!” 

Robert ensures her feet are on the ground before letting go of her and looking out the window, to see that indeed there are snowflakes falling. 

April races to the window, and Aaron quickly follows, standing beside her on the left. As people start to gather, Robert makes his way over as well, taking his place on her other side. 

He smiles as he watches the world outside slowly get covered in a blanket of white, the flurries picking up speed as they’re falling. 

“You should go for a walk in the snow,” April advises, with what seems to be her usual level of confidence. “And make sure you hold hands so you don’t fall down. That’s what my dad and stepmum do. 

Even the thought of it makes Robert’s heart rate speed up, but when he looks over at Aaron he finds him staring and smiling back at him. His pulse starts to immediately jackrabbit. 

 _Kids, eh?_ Aaron’s look seems to say, as he shakes his head slightly. 

Robert raises his shoulder and gives a little shrug and smiles. _What are you supposed to do?_  

The three of them continue to stand there and watch the snow fall. 

“Alright cheeky, time to say goodbye,” Ellis eventually calls out and they turn and head back toward him. 

“Our mum’s about to come and get her,” he tells them. 

April hugs Aaron goodbye, her arms wrapping around his legs. Then she comes over and hugs Robert. He crouches down and returns the gesture. 

“Tell Aaron that you love him,” she whispers loudly in his ear. “ _That’s_ how you get a boyfriend.”  
 

:::::

They’re still blocked idea-wise so after lunch they decide to take a walk around the village, the snowfall having ceased a few hours into the late afternoon, covering the whole place in another fresh coat of snowflakes. He suggests it under the guise of catching a glimpse of all the famous festivities Manpreet had mentioned earlier. But he can’t help but think of April’s advice, especially any time their hands brush together. (He attributes those initial shivers that run through him to the cold air around them as well as his lack of gloves. Aaron neither notices nor questions that.)

As they go around, they see that the B&B owner had been right, the village does have a lot to offer its visitors. Robert actually thinks the garden of ice sculptures and the indoor ice skating rink are actually kind of cool. Even if Aaron is not the most impressed. However, they both agree the church manger is all kinds of rubbish, with no thought or creativity put into it. (If Robert were in charge, he’d have commissioned all the local artists to make something, and the combined all the various aspects. Sure, there might have been some aesthetic clashes, but at least the result would be interesting to look at.) 

Robert’s favourite thing by far is a food stall in the village centre selling freshly made Nutella crepes. Aaron stands there laughing at him as he goes back for seconds. He also refuses a bite when Robert offers one. 

“It’s like you’re a kid,” he says shaking his head at him. “Not even my cousin Kyle eats that much sugar. And he’s _actually_ seven.” 

Robert shrugs, quite happy with the thin crispy pancake, and the oozing, melted hazelnut butter inside each crisscross-cut square. The whole thing is so good he has to stand still for a second, as he savours the flavour and lets out a moan of satisfaction when it hits the exact spot within his soul. 

The next thing he knows, there’s a blast something cold hitting his body, followed by a kind of cold wetness around his neck. He spins around quickly to find Aaron bent over in laughter, the telltale evidence of a snowball in his hands; flecks of snow stuck to his sleeves, his cheeks pink in the crisp winter air. 

“You think _I’m_ a child?” Robert questions already going on the defence. He grabs a handful of snow and tries to pack it as he ducks for cover. “What does that make you?” 

Aaron doesn’t reply, just tosses another snowball. It shatters against the stone exterior of a nearby cottage. 

Robert uses that to pinpoint his location, then he lobs a snow-based missile of his own in that direction. When Aaron’s yelp hits his ears, he knows his shot has found his location. He grabs some snow and forms another one. 

They continue like that, ducking and weaving and throwing, until Robert gets a clear shot for an offensive. When Aaron almost slips in place and is forced to try and steady his balance, Robert seizes the chance to run straight _towards_ him. 

Only as he draws closer, his feet start to lose their grip and he’s unable to find any sort of purchase, so before he can stop himself, he goes crashing straight into Aaron, both of them falling onto a mound of nearby snow, Robert sprawled atop of Aaron. 

He tries to pretend that his current breathlessness and pounding pulse are because of his recent burst of activity. But as they both lay there, chest pressed against chest, legs laying over each other, and the breath between them turning into vapour, he knows that’s not the reason.

Aaron’s eyes are blue — he’s always known that fact — but he’s never seen them set against exertion-pinked cheeks and blue-tinted fresh snow. He’s only ever seen them in an office or at a near distance. 

His breath hitches and he can hear nothing but his heart. Below him, Aaron’s staring back and quietly breathing. 

Robert’s not sure but he thinks he sees Aaron’s eyes flick down towards his lips. He finds himself unconsciously licking them. 

All he wants to do is give into this pull he can feel building up between them; lean forward, let his lips graze against Aaron’s. He can feel his neck slowly dropping. 

But then somewhere between them, one of their phones goes off, the vibrations buzzing against both their thighs. 

Robert pushes himself off Aaron with a quick start, dusting himself off — only to realise the ringing is coming from _his_ pocket. 

He dives into his pocket, and brings his phone out. It’s Vic, probably calling about Christmas. 

In that one moment Robert can’t help but be annoyed at her, her sense of timing having interrupted them. 

He must make a face because Aaron asks, “What’s wrong?” 

And suddenly Robert remembers Adam and realises how close he came to ruining _everything_. When he looks back at Aaron, he tries to play it off as nothing. But his voice comes out hoarse when he says, “Just my sister.” 

“Everything alright?” Aaron asks again, what happened between them forgotten in his concern. Yet another piece of Robert’s heart softens. 

“Yeah,” he answers, putting his phone away. “I can always call her back later.” 

Aaron doesn’t seem to buy it because he gives Robert that _look_ — the one that Robert knows how to read despite just a week of working together. 

He does his best to deflect it and buy himself some more time. He gestures at the pub close by. “Why don’t I tell you over dinner?”  
 

:::::  


They’re midway through their steak dinners (and making the most of eating out on Eric’s dime) when Aaron finally brings up Robert’s reaction from earlier.

“So what’s going on with your sister?” He asks, a look of concern on his face. “Thought you guys were pretty close.” 

“We are,” Robert says, thinking of how much time he spends with Vic in any given month — not just around the holiday season. “It’s just she keeps trying to patch things up between me and Andy.” 

“Ah,” Aaron says, and Robert knows he completely understands. Still, he wants to give him the full explanation. 

“I made a fool of myself at his wedding,” Robert says, when Aaron doesn’t say anything. “And accidentally came out as bisexual.”

That gets him an eyebrow raise, and a bit of a cheeky smile. “Don’t do anything by half measures, do ya?” 

Robert takes a sip of the one pint he’s allowing himself tonight. He’d decided early on that some alcohol was needed. “That’s why I’m not spending Christmas with my family. Andy and Katie are hosting dinner this year. And neither of them want me there.” 

He’s expecting sympathy, an understanding frown. But Aaron just nods, sips his drink, and says, “Fuck ‘em.” 

When Robert looks at him in surprise. Aaron puts down his glass. He looks him straight in the eye. 

“Robert, I saw your reaction to him that day in the pub,” he says softly, but there’s a steel in his voice, the band of it strong and unwavering. “That’s not a reaction to some family row. I take it he said some things that were hurtful.” 

“Why aren’t you on his side?” Robert asks, unable to believe what he’s hearing. “Everybody else is.” 

Robert can see it from the outside, is aware of the optics; that he’s the wayward brother who interrupted a wedding reception by sleeping with two people on the same day — barely an hour between them. But every inch of him still stings when he even _thinks_ about the lack of kindness and compassion shown to him on that day, when he’d been ordered to leave immediately. 

It hadn’t been easy _choosing_ to come out to people who’d been open and supportive like Vic and Aaron. It had been a nightmare being forced to do so to two people who only expected the worst of him. 

Aaron must sense that because yet again he just shrugs, “Like I said. Andy can be an ignorant tit.” 

Robert smiles, definitely cheered up. His heart once again thumps for Aaron. 

“While we’re trading coming out stories,” Aaron chooses to continue. “This should make ya feel better. _I_ actually ran away from home for a while. Didn’t think my family would ever accept me.” 

“That must have been hard,” Robert says, thinking of how scared he feels even now. How he can’t imagine being that level of scared _and_ younger. 

Aaron smiles, pleased Robert gets it. “Yeah, but I didn’t know if they’d ever accept me.”

“Most of my family’s been supportive,” Robert says, thinking of mostly Doug and Vic. “But I’m not sure if _I_ fully get it… I mean, I’ve never even had a proper relationship with a bloke before.” 

His cheeks flush hot as he admits this truth to Aaron. But if anyone were to understand, he thinks he would. 

“Have you had relationships with women?” Aaron asks, tone still gentle. 

Robert nods as he thinks of Katie. 

“Reckon it’s just like that,” Aaron says with a bit of a shrug. “Or so that’s what I’ve heard.” 

“I mean, I know it’s the same,” Robert acknowledges, the fear inside him building. What if Aaron doesn’t get _this_ part? 

Still, he makes himself go forward, forge verbally onward, as he confesses, “But I’ve never allowed myself to really imagine a future… where I might end up with a man instead.” 

He looks away immediately, chugging down the rest of his drink. There’s a weight off his shoulders, but a building pit of dread in his belly. He can’t even bear the thought of looking over at Aaron. 

“Neither did I for a while,” Aaron says, his voice really quiet. “It takes time, you know, reimagining a future. Especially when you thought it was going to be one way.” 

“Is that what you did?” Robert asks looking up, a small and hopeful smile on his lips. “Gave it time until it wasn’t so scary?” 

 _Until you couldn’t imagine it not being a possibility?_  

Aaron nods, and flashes a smile. “That and got drunk a lot.” 

Robert laughs out loud, his first real one in a while; the sound of it feeling strange to his ears. 

He watches as Aaron joins in his laughter, and all he can think is, _I hope I find something like this someday._  

Because nothing about Aaron Dingle is scary.  


:::::  


When they get back to the room, Robert’s more than a bit tipsy — but not as bad as that work drink at the bar. Rather, he’d just taken Aaron’s advice, and had two more pints after the first one. The combination of three making him a bit wobbly. 

The room is too hot, though the weather outside was cold, so he strips off layer after layer. When he’s finally left in nothing but the boxer briefs he’d bought the day before, he climbs under the covers. 

“You know what?” He says, his voice louder than intended. 

“What?” Aaron asks from over in the bathroom. He’s got the door cracked open so he can still keep an eye on Robert. For that, Robert is grateful. 

“You’re right,” Robert says, wanting to be honest. “Getting drunk helps _a lot_.”  

“I’m holding you to that,” Aaron jokes, reemerging and switching the light off. “Robert Sugden admitting I’m right.” 

“Good,” Robert mumbles, closing his eyes and burrowing deeper. “‘Cause I mean it.” 

 _You’re actually right about a lot of things._  

He falls asleep thinking of Aaron.  
 

:::::  
 

**WEDNESDAY**

Once again, there’s sunlight streaming in through the window. Only this time they’re both a tangled mess of limbs, Robert somehow spooning Aaron closer; his face buried in the back of his neck, his nose tip deep in the short curls at the nape, lips pressed against close shaved bristles, breathing in the scent of him. (Faint notes of the B&B’s peppermint shampoo, Robert makes a note to take some home with him.) 

And while on some level he is aware of Aaron and the position they’ve both found themselves in yet again, it doesn’t sink in until Aaron shifts in his sleep, pushing himself backwards into Robert. 

It happens all at once, this dawning realisation. The result of multiple points of feedback suddenly being processed as heat floods Robert’s touch-weakened system, one of Aaron’s groans filling his ears and once again causing a physical response. 

Most of him is naked — nothing but his underwear on — as his chest, legs, and arms lay bare and wrapped around Aaron’s t-shirted chest and thin shorts wearing thighs, heat flowing freely between them. (Robert has never given much thought to how Aaron’s shins and feet would feel on him and next to him, only focused on Aaron’s thighs and how he’d like to get his hands on them. But laying as they are, skin and muscle pressed together, it’s all he can think about; something quiet and intimate about your own leg hair being touched by someone else’s body.) 

He doesn’t dare move, is almost too scared to blink or breathe, but because they are necessary bodily functions he manages to do so.

One of his arms lays wrapped around Aaron’s waist, his hand sort of resting against the flat muscles of Aaron’s lower belly, the pads of his fingers almost pinning him place. When Robert had thought the fabric of this t-shirt soft in the shop, he hadn’t anticipated that he’d be getting to feel it _on_ Aaron’s body, the material thin enough for him to feel the light panes of Aaron’s toned muscles; enough to start him imagining the trail of hairs underneath, leading downward into his pants. 

As soon as he realises what he’s thinking — and where it might lead him — he wants to yank his hand right off, the skin under his fingers and palms already feeling inflamed. So he settles on gently peeling himself off, a big part of him already regretting it. 

 _It’s just a hand you can place it elsewhere_ , he tells himself in case he bottles it mid-action. 

But then seconds before he’s about to make his move, he hears it kind of happen, Aaron making a noise that’s a cross between a grunt and a whimper. Instantly, all of Robert’s plans grind to a standstill and before he knows it he lets out a soft, soothing _ssshh_ , apparently unable to leave Aaron Dingle unanswered even in his sleep. 

That seems to settle him as he pushes backwards some more, only settling when he seems sure Robert’s body is against his. Robert just lays there, slowly on fire, as Aaron’s warm chest lays flush up against his bare one. 

But even through the flames and the sparks running up and down his body, Robert can’t help but feel a deeper sense of calm. In all the times he’s slept or dated men, he’s never felt a need to reassure and cuddle. (Sure, he’s spooned the occasional fellow, an act of aftercare on his part — especially after things had gotten a little rougher between them consensually. But even _that_ hadn’t felt like this, hadn’t felt as good as it does with Aaron.) 

Holding Aaron close and hearing him breathe — and make that almost _snore_ he does when he inhales — and feeling his presence just steady his heartbeat is comforting in so many different ways. Even in his sleep he’s so solidly Aaron, sensing what he needs and then just going after it, while somehow never making Robert feel uncomfortable. 

And that’s the thing, isn’t it? Robert’s never felt out of sorts with Aaron, not in the way he sometimes does with everyone else. Yes, he has only known him a little over a week, and yes, there was that brief patch after their meeting with Priya where Robert hadn’t been able to read him, but he still feels like he’s almost known him forever — or that he could and would like to if given a chance. 

He wants more than friendship and shared drinks and darts at the pub, he wants mornings where he wakes up just like this. And just like that, he doesn’t care about Adam. It’s not every day he feels like this, is it? (He had dreamed of a life and a future with Katie as well, but he hadn’t done that based on simply a few touches the way his mind is already spinning in circles about Aaron.) 

So that’s decided then, he’s going to tell Aaron how he feels. He’s just going to have to figure out a way to do so. It has to be perfect, and it has to be to at the right time. Robert does _not_ want to be caught with his pants down again. (Though he won’t mind if that’s what happens after.) 

He worries for a second that Aaron might not want this, that he’s perfectly happy, that he might just not convince him. But then he thinks of that night in the bar, both of them laughing at Aaron’s jokes, and then the night in the pub with both of them effortlessly trading banter, and finally the whole of yesterday. There had been a moment where when he’d held him down in the snow, Robert had felt that Aaron had _wanted_ him to kiss him. 

 _He also wants Adam_ , his brain reminds him in disgust. But he pushes that thought straight out of it. Aaron’s allowed some mistakes, as are they all. He just has to figure out a way to tell him. 

Aaron makes another sound, this more of a sigh, and Robert smiles into his neck because he totally gets it. 

As he thinks of ways to tell Aaron how he feels, Robert’s eyelids start to fall, his heart just steadily thumping. 

He dreams of Aaron, of his face and of his smile, of how he’s going to tell him how he feels about him.  
 

:::::  


He wakes up to the feel and sight of an empty bed, Aaron no longer laying next to him; his fingers grasping at cold air, the sheets below them cool. Robert frowns and rolls over onto his back, unsure of where he might have gone. 

His answer comes in the form of the bathroom door swinging open. He cracks an eye open and lifts his head to see Aaron emerge from within it — only this time he’s not surrounded by shower mist, but is fully dressed in those black jeans, his white work shirt, and his black hoodie. He looks as good as Robert had imagined he’d look in it, which goes a good way towards making up for his lack of general nakedness. (As much as Robert enjoys the nude form, his deeper appreciation for clothing and the way it sits on others — or maybe that’s just Aaron — tends to take precedence. That is part of the fun of sex after all, the slow, or harried, undressing.) 

It takes Aaron a moment, to notice that Robert’s awake and staring, and another for his cheeks to go red. 

“Bathroom’s free,” he says, voice sounding awkward. Robert immediately wonders if it’s because of him; cold panic starting to settle in. 

“Don’t worry,” Aaron continues, laughing nervously, blind to Robert’s pain. He tosses his wet towel onto his side of the bed. “Plenty of hot water still left for ya.” 

He smiles up at Robert and despite himself his heart stills _and_ skips a beat, a brief respite from it’s panicky thundering. 

The moment passes and the panicking resumes, Robert’s throat constricting with it. 

“Guess I better go in then,” he says, despite the lump in his throat. “Wouldn’t want to keep smelling like a pub.” 

“Was wondering what that was,” Aaron pretends to sniff like he’s smelt a bad smell, the energy between them shifting back to easy teasing. 

Robert heaves an internal sigh of relief, a little pleased that Aaron doesn’t seem so thrown off by their eventual sleeping positions. Could he maybe have enjoyed it? 

He doesn’t _dare_ go there mentally — at least not just yet. He still has to make it across the room to the bathroom. And as he’s just realised as he makes a move to get up, all he’s wearing under these sheets are a pair of thin navy blue boxer-briefs. 

He tries to think cool thoughts as he throws the covers off.Thankfully, the morning chill sends an urgent shiver straight through him; a welcome distraction from Aaron. Not that it lasts very long, Robert doing his best to glide quickly across the space, not crossing his arms across his chest on principle. 

He doesn’t want to give into the cold or suggest he’s embarrassed of his lack of dress. (If anything, he quite likes his body and knows that he’s fit and completely attention-worthy. Besides, it’s now a part of his ploy to capture Aaron’s attention. Robert Sugden doesn’t run and swim regularly _not_ to be in his best shape, to not have a body that would make Aaron Dingle _want_ to stare at him willingly.)  

He tries not to puff out his chest too much, and not to swing his arms too wide. He _wants_ Aaron to compare him to Adam, to see what he’s really missing. But when he doesn’t feel Aaron’s eyes on him by the time he gets to the bathroom door, that prickling at the back of his neck that sometimes feels like physical manifestation of a stare, a small part of him starts to deflate. 

 _Maybe Aaron’s not interested._ Robert tells himself. _Maybe you’re not his type_. 

His heart starts to sink to the bottom. 

But then at the last second he feels it across his chest, a silent weight that causes the hair on his arms and chest to stand up to attention. He looks up to find Aaron gazing at him from where he’s standing by the desk, folded clothes in one hand, shopping bag in the other, body stilled in the process. 

If Aaron senses any of Robert’s nerves, he doesn’t let on. Just as Robert can’t tell if he’s interested on account of the nod he gives him, accompanied by a thin-lipped smile that had felt entirely too friendly — no spark of interest evident. 

And yet, Robert’s body has never felt warmer, the flush of attention has started to possess him, just from the strength of Aaron’s gaze on his naked limbs. 

The next second, though, Aaron looks away, shaking his head as if to clear it, and Robert shuts the door quickly. He checks that it’s locked and in place before he lets out a great big smile, almost pumping his fist in triumph. 

It may not have been how he wanted it — or to the degree he’d desired — but he has gotten Aaron’s attention; meaning he now has something to work with.   


:::::  


He practices it in the shower, then he practices as he gets dressed, Aaron already having gone downstairs to secure breakfast. (Robert had smiled when Aaron had announced that he was going to get some bacon, and that he would get him some as well.) 

“Aaron, I like you,” he begins tentatively, looking in the mirror. “And I think we should be more than just friends. Would you- Will you… go out with me?” 

His blue shirt looks good, as does his Christmas sweater, the maroon, white, and now blue, combination really working for him as he tugs at the hem gently. The wool settles, the feeling nice and snug, retaining all the warmth that’s been building in his chest since earlier this morning. 

He whispers it to himself as he goes down the stairs, this time with different kinds of inflections. He only has one chance at this pitch, which means he _has_ to make it count, the whole thing more stressful than meeting with any actual client. But then again, it would be. It _is_ Aaron Dingle. (Robert realised early on in the shower, hot water warming his shoulders, that he basically has to sell Aaron on not just the concept of him as a boyfriend, but also the idea of _them_ ; of all the ways he’s better than Adam.) 

He’s tempted to rest on the laurels that are his pretty good looks, but being better looking than Adam isn’t as much of a victory considering that Aaron has seen his face and has still chosen to date him anyway. So all he has left are his sense of humour and his words — and with Aaron that can go either way on a _good_ day. 

But just as he’s about to round the corner and head into the dining room, he hears what is most definitely Aaron’s voice talking, clearly in a conversation on the phone, that detail becoming apparent when Robert doesn’t hear anyone else saying anything. 

“I haven’t been gone too long,” Aaron’s saying exasperation in his voice. “That’s not enough _to_ miss me.” 

Then there’s a pause. Aaron asking, “You sure you’re not tapped?” 

Robert frowns. There’s no doubt about it. Aaron’s definitely talking to Adam. 

Another pause, and then, “I’ll come over later and we can talk about it.” 

It’s followed by a break and then a, “I’ve got to go now. Yeah. I’ll be seein’ ya. 

There’s a snort and he adds, sounding reluctant and fond, “Yeah, yeah. I love you too. Now go back to sleep ya idiot.” 

The silence that follows as Aaron hangs up, barely registers in Robert’s current thought process, his mind just going blank at the sound of Aaron saying, “I love you” to _Adam_. 

This is all a big mistake. It’s so terribly wrong. Robert can’t just go in there and tell him how he feels. He’s already responsible for the ruination of one wedding. He can’t be responsible for throwing a wrench in a friend’s relationship as well. 

He bites his lip and runs a hand through his hair, a sick feeling now filling his belly — like he’s eaten too much and done one too many somersaults, any appetite simply vanishing. 

If this morning was a dream, then this moment is a nightmare, those seconds after waking up where you realise the harsh truth of reality, the feeling like sandpaper on your tongue. 

His heart hurts. His head spins. Because he likes Aaron — likes him a whole damn lot — which means he won’t allow himself to do this to him or Adam. Won’t cause him an unnecessary heart ache. 

 _Not like I’m feeling right now._  

He thinks back to those moments when Aaron stepped out of the shower, when he’d looked at Robert just that little bit pink. It’s stupid and silly that he’d dismissed it back then, but now he _knows_ that Aaron had definitely felt awkward. He’d woken up in the arms of another man, one who isn’t his boyfriend. And even if he did have feelings for Robert, he wouldn’t tell Adam he loves him. No. Aaron Dingle is made of better stuff than that. 

 _That’s_ why he is Aaron Dingle; solid, resolute, and entirely too good for him. Not the kind of man who should be with Robert. 

So he steels himself to go in there, to face Aaron Dingle on this no longer fine morning. All he has to do now, is get through breakfast, and then possibly through another day, until their car is fixed and they can both head home, where he can make sure they won’t work together for a long, _long_ time. 

He takes a deep breath and rounds that corner, wondering if it’s too early to fix himself a drink.  
 

:::::  


For someone who spent so much of his life actively pretending to be someone he’s not, he’s finding it incredibly difficult to do it once again; the bell of self-knowledge unable to be unrung. 

Sitting across from Aaron, and watching him munch through beans on toast with a healthy side of bacon, Robert just can’t seem to fake any enthusiasm. Not for the bacon — of which Aaron had nabbed them both a plate full — or for the wonderfully seasoned omelette Manpreet’s chef had made him. Or even for the little jars of homemade marmalade. (While he doesn’t really eat it all the time, he’s always been a big fan of the stuff, ever since his mother read him, and later Vic as well, the first of the _Paddington Bear_ book series.)

In fact, the only time he’s able to summon anything even akin to that emotion, it’s when Pete calls Aaron and tells him the car’s now fixed and ready, all set to take them back to their lives and the office. 

“Said we could come by and pick it up after breakfast if we wanted,” Aaron says, chomping his way through a sausage. His voice sounds sunny, and he’s clearly smiling, but there’s something in his eyes, just quietly watching Robert. It almost looks like worry. 

“That’s great,” Robert says, focused on his coffee. It’s not as good as what Ellis had whipped up for them at the cafe, but it’ll do in a pinch right now. He just needs somewhere else he can divert his mind and attention — anywhere that’s not Aaron. 

“So…” Aaron says, finally putting down his fork, and Robert’s heart is filled with dread. But then he just follows it up with, “When do you want to head back?” 

The question is simple, but there’s all this weight on it, like Aaron’s asking him, _When do you want_ this _to be over?_  

 _As soon as possible_ , Robert thinks, not sure he can suffer even a moment of this any longer. The thought of Aaron loving and going home to Adam and his waiting arms, a continuous form of torture. 

“After breakfast’s fine,” he shrugs back, sipping the rest of his coffee, every part of him aching at the thought of it. “Should be heading back soon anyway. Got a lot of work to do. Those pitches won’t write themselves.”

He flashes Aaron what feels like a watery smile, barely even feeling it. Aaron doesn’t return it, just stares at him in response, sitting there and quietly sipping _his_ coffee.

“Suppose you’re right,” he says after what feels like a long while. “Wouldn’t want to keep Eric waiting.”  


:::::  


If Robert couldn’t read Aaron after their meeting with Priya, he’s completely inscrutable now; like another language decked out in a puffy winter jacket and a hoodie, wrapped up in slight impassive frown and even more quiet indie music. (It’s weird, but Robert’s actually starting to enjoy it, even though he prefers his listening material to have a bit more of a beat, his tastes running towards mainstream pop.) 

In spite of the almost broodiness of it all, Robert can’t but help find him insanely attractive, his heart pounding with each sideways glance as he takes in the fixed, almost _clenched_ set of his jaw and the way both hands grip the wheel. 

Aaron’s face is outwardly blank, not a trace of emotion on it (except for the downturned corners of his lips), but Robert can still sense something roiling under the surface, Aaron’s thick, somewhat icy exterior, too hard a shell for it to crack. 

So Robert turns his gaze outward and looks out the window, watching as the trees and the countryside pass by. The white blanket of snow that had turned the village and its neighbouring scenery soft and wintery, now looks like a melted trail of slush. 

It’s then that he sees it, up in the distance, the location etched into his memory. He’d sat there in the quiet and come out to Aaron, then he’d stood there and kissed him thoroughly; his face in his hands, their hips drawing closer together… But like a glimpse of another world, or perhaps a trick of the light, it flickers away as they drive past the layby, reminding him yet again that _that_ part was a dream. (Though that too is locked into his memory. 

Robert sighs inward and turns his attention back to the open computer sitting on his lap, the blinking cursor taunting him furiously. He’d opened up their shared pitch document hoping to get some work done, hoping this drive would give him more time to work on their pitches. 

 _The faster this is over, the sooner we don’t have to work together. Which means I can finally get over him._  

But just like an hour ago, and the hour before _that_ , he’s stuck in that same mental headspace, where all he can think about is kissing Aaron.    
  


:::::  
 

Things come to a head when they stop for lunch on the way back into the city. Robert insisting they stop at a roadside pub, because neither of them can work on empty stomachs (he’d heard Aaron’s rumbling from a few miles back, even though Aaron himself hadn’t said anything) and that seems to cheer Aaron up immensely. 

He purses his lips, his jaw not quite as stiff and clenched anymore, before nodding his assent to the idea, officially letting Robert out of the metaphorical dog house as he turns into the first available parking lot. 

This newfound acquiescence carries all the way inside, enough to make him bite the bullet when they’re seated, their server having stepped away with their orders. 

“Everything alright?” Aaron asks loud and blunt, the energy under his words restless. 

Robert blinks back at him, perfectly surprised, his mouth dry at the sight of Aaron’s eyes on him. He swallows nervously, “Why wouldn’t it be?” 

He can barely look Aaron in the eye as he says it. 

“Well you’ve been acting shifty ever since breakfast,” Aaron points out and Robert knows he can’t get away with it. He’d sensed the growing awkwardness between them during the ride in the car, but hadn’t known (or really wanted) to broach it. “So, go on. Spit out whatever’s bothering you.” 

 _It’s you, you idiot._ Robert wants to retort. _I really, really like you._  

But he keeps his lips pressed shut and shakes his head. “Aaron, there’s nothing bothering me.” 

He can practically _see_ Aaron mentally call “bullshit” on him, only he doesn’t say it out loud. Just sits there and keeps on staring. 

His gaze is unsettling, overturning every last one of Robert’s corners, and moments away from spotting his truth. So he pulls a gambit, sacrifices something else instead, not quite a lie as much as a partial half-truth; another thing that was actually bothering him. 

“It’s Vic, my sister,” Robert explains, their conversation on Saturday springing to mind. “She really wants the whole family together this year. Which means I’m probably going to end up apologising to Andy and Katie.” 

And now that he’s started, it’s all coming loose, all the things he’d kept bottled up inside him for the previous months. “I think it’s just that she misses our parents. She never really got to have a proper Christmas, just all of us together. There was always one thing or another, and then mum died and dad passed a few years later.” 

Aaron’s gaze softens, blue eyes growing more understanding. It just prompts Robert to keep on talking. 

“And it’s not helping that our stepmum and dad got separated this year, either. Don’t think she’s been takin’ it very well. She was always the closest to either of them.” Robert says, not realising how much he’d actually been worried about her. “In some ways _they’re_ the only mum and dad she’s really had the chance to get to know properly.” 

Aaron stays silent, just nodding and listening. When he’s sure Robert’s done — having given him a few seconds gap — he simply asks, “And how do _you_ feel about all of this?” 

It takes him a second, and then another and another, to process what Aaron’s said, part of him unable to believe the question. 

“I… I don’t know,” Robert admits shyly, his cheeks starting to colour as he looks away. “Don’t think anyone’s ever asked me before.” 

“No one’s asked you how you feel about your own family?” Aaron sounds incredulous, unable to believe what he’s hearing. 

Robert looks up at him and shrugs. “Not really the most popular family member, am I? Remember Andy’s wedding?” 

“That doesn’t matter,” Aaron insists, sounding slightly incensed. “Robert, they’re ya family. They’re _supposed_ to care how ya feelin’. Otherwise, screw the whole lot of them!” 

Robert realises then that it’s not disbelief that Aaron’s sending his way, but anger on his behalf. 

With his words in mind, he thinks of Vic and Doug and how both of them have been concerned, both of them calling and messaging repeatedly. His stepmum, Diane, has done her fair bit in the previous months before she’d eventually stopped after Robert had stopped answering her calls and messages. He’d just supposed she probably sided with Andy, a bit like Vic had at the time, and hadn’t wanted to explain or deal with that. 

Robert smiles ruefully and shakes his head, now more grateful for Aaron than ever — and a tiny bit nervous. “Actually, part of that might have been _my_ fault. Didn’t exactly make it easy for them.” 

Aaron grins at that, shaking his head. “Now, why doesn’t that surprise me?” 

“Hey!” Robert exclaims, feigning insult and injury. “Thought you were supposed to be on _my_ side!” 

“Never said that, did I?” Aaron points out, taking a sip of the pint that’s arrived for him. Robert smiles over the rim of his own drink. 

“Any opportunity to mock me, eh?” Robert questions, a weight off his chest. His beer has never tasted better. 

Aaron smiles softly, a clear confirmation. “Didn’t say _that_ either.” 

They share a chuckle and all seems well, Robert already feeling infinitely lighter. 

But the moment passes and Aaron grows serious, looking Robert straight in the eye point blank. He didn’t know it was possible for one person to get this still, but then Aaron’s voice grows quiet as he says, “You shouldn’t have to apologise for how _you_ felt. It’s not your job to fix your family.”  

Robert feels chills run up his arms and down his spine, but before he can say anything Aaron keeps on speaking. “What you _can_ do, is tell your family how you feel. It’s time you stopped protecting their feelings.” 

“What makes you think _I’m_ the one doing the protecting?” Robert asks, not sure how to process this bit of kindness. 

“The fact that you’re telling _me_ all of this, instead of your stepparents or your sister,” Aaron answers with brutal honesty, taking a drink. Robert appreciates that he didn’t bring up Andy. 

“But I did kind of ruin that reception, and I'm the reason the whole family won’t be together for Christmas,” Robert points out. “I’ll be the only one missing.” 

“Fine. Then apologise for _that_ ,” Aaron remains firm. “But not for your sexuality.” 

Then he snorts and mutters almost under his breath. “It’s more about your terrible decision-making.”

He stares pointedly at Robert’s just-arrived food order, an additional dig not needed at this particular moment, during _this_ conversation. 

“What?” Robert questions, though he knows what Aaron’s thinking. He stares back at him defensively, a fork and knife in either hand. 

“You ordered coffee _and_ lasagna for lunch. Who does that?” Aaron asks, wrinkling his nose at Robert’s selection.  

“We need to finish those pitches! This will help me stay awake!” Robert replies gesturing in front of him, his voice just that tiny bit defensive. 

Aaron snorts. “Sure, tell yourself that, _Sugden_.” 

“Like your roast beef sandwich is any better, _Dingle_ ,” Robert retorts, his fork cracking the crunchy, cheesy top layer and sinking into the tender noodles and sauce. It already smells incredible. (To be fair, and entirely honest, he does think Aaron’s lunch looks amazing, especially the fresh fried steak chips in a tiny metal basket beside it. He wishes he’d ordered himself some.) 

Aaron catches him eyeing his lunch and grins smugly, before pushes his plate forward.

“Help yourself,” he says nudging that chip basket towards him.  

Robert narrows his eyes, waiting for the catch. There doesn’t seem to be one as yet, so he slowly reaches his hand out across the table and towards Aaron’s plate; fingers inching forward tentatively. As expected, Aaron doesn’t disappoint. As soon as Robert’s hand is hovering over a particularly golden-looking wedge of potato, he says, “If you admit I know better than you.” 

Robert stills his hand, gives it some thought, then looks Aaron back in the eye. 

“You’re right,” he nods, his tone in casual agreement, voice still soft and considering. “I should really take your advice. And _not_ do any apologising. Or _lying_ about things that aren’t true.” 

Then without warning, he reaches down and steals a chip, fingers clasping the edge of a freshly fried potato wedge. The heat burns his finger tips, but he brings it back towards him quickly, refusing to let go of either it or his victory. 

His heart is pounding, but then Aaron rolls his eyes and laughs, and it feels like jubilant vindication.

“Whatever you need to say to make yourself feel better, mate,” Aaron says, not bothering to pull back his plate or the basket of chips. Just leaves them where they are, within Robert’s reach. 

It’s in this moment that Robert decides that maybe a friendship with Aaron wouldn’t be so bad after all. Yes, it will be painful to see him continue to date Adam, and maybe one day go on to marry him. But if that’s the price he has to pay to keep this snark and sense of humour in his life, well then, he’s willing to pay for it. So instead of denying himself the occasional bit of Aaron’s company here and there as he’d decided to earlier. He’s just going to make sure he keeps his thoughts 100% professional going forward. Thankfully, watching Aaron eat is starting to help with that. (Even though Robert still finds the way he eats that sandwich kind of sexy.) 

He smiles back at Aaron as he finally takes a big bite out of that chip. He’s never tasted anything better.   
  


:::::  
  


Things seem more or less normal by the time they get back to the office, their banter coming back in full force. They walk into Robert’s office, still kind of bickering, Aaron setting up camp on the sofa in the corner, while Robert dumps all his things back onto his desk, before grabbing his laptop and coming to join him. (Their current disagreement is about Robert’s taste in music, after he’d adjusted the music playlist several times on the way back.)

“It’s not a crime to like Carly Rae Jepsen,” Robert argues, opening his laptop on the glass coffee table. 

“It _is_ if that’s all you ever listen to,” Aaron fires back. His own laptop is open in front of him. 

“You’re just music snob,” Robert says, glancing up over his screen from his corner of the sofa. 

“Better than being an idiot,” Aaron says, typing in his password. He’s got his left leg curled up on the sofa as he leans back on the arm. His leg is splayed outward, his foot resting on the edge of the coffee table. Robert eyes it worriedly. 

But soon he’s distracted by something else — a bowl of white and silver baubles sitting in the centre. Looking around the space, he notices several more additions: little bits of green tinsel hung everywhere, along with some paper snowflake chains, even a santa hat on an award he’d won earlier this year, displaying it on a shelf in pride. 

 _Gerry_ , he thinks, mentally sighing at his assistant. Clearly, he’d seized the opportunity Robert’s absence had granted him to summon his version of the spirit of Christmas. He’d complain about it — or fire the lad — if Aaron didn’t seem to be enjoying it. 

“Guess we know what Gerry’s been up to,” Aaron acknowledges, nodding appreciatively around the office. 

“Heaven forbid he actually do his actual job,” Robert grumbles. Aaron snorts in amusement. 

As if on command, the younger man arrives in the doorway, beaming up at both of them. 

“What do ya think?” He asks, hands on hips, proud of his accomplishments. “Thought I’d work some of my Gerry Roberts magic.” 

“They’re great,” Aaron answers, before Robert can tell him off. So he ends up holding his tongue. 

“We’re still working on our pitch presentation email, so we’re going to need a couple of supplies,” Robert does tells him a few seconds later, voice all stern and businesslike. 

“Sure!” Gerry grins, more than happy to oblige. It’s one of his better qualities. (The second is his actually delicious homemade sandwiches, Robert having taken to paying Gerry to prepare them for him regularly.) 

“What do you need?” 

“Go out and buy us a couple of packs of Sharma Sweets,” Robert says, avoiding Aaron’s eyes, knowing he’s going to be heartily judged once Gerry leaves the room. “And extras of the chocolate buttons.” 

Once Gerry’s gone, he waits the requisite few seconds for Aaron’s cutting comment, but when none comes he looks up at him expectantly. Aaron meets his stare, sensing his eyes on him. 

“Nothing to say?” Robert asks, laying the challenge nice and thick. 

“Not gonna mock someone with a clear problem now, am I?” Aaron scolds, as if he’s said something wrong. “Addiction isn’t a joke Robert.” 

Robert rolls his eyes and Aaron explodes, the office filled with the sound of joyful laughter.  
 

:::::  
 

He knows he should be tired and a lot more frustrated given the late hour and their lack of general success on the steadily approaching presentation. But sitting beside Aaron, who’s scooted closer to the middle of the sofa now (with both feet on the edge of the coffee table), Robert can’t help but feel a little thrilled. Working this closely has given him a chance to see Aaron in ways he hasn’t before — and he’s enjoying every second of it.

There’s the way Aaron bites his lip as he’s lost in thought, the little furrow between his brows growing deeper. There’s the gentle snort when he finds something amusing, laughing at one of Robert’s jokes as he jots them down in their shared document across the cloud. (Robert’s heart had felt all aflutter at the sound, the general rasp of it low and throaty.) There’s also the way he stretches every now and then, working out the kinks in his joints. (Robert’s surprised he doesn’t have more of them based on the way he sits, limbs all akimbo.) But that’s Aaron in a nutshell, Robert’s come to learn. Never doing or being what is expected.  

He thinks of all the times Diane had told him off for putting his legs on the furniture and smiles as he thinks of Aaron blatantly ignoring her. 

His family would like Aaron, he thinks, even if he might be a bit rude with them. (Robert doesn’t mind that actually, the more he thinks about it, quite likes the idea of someone else helping him keep in them in place.) 

Vic would adore Aaron (because she adores everyone) and even Doug would grow to be fond of him. Diane would polite but ultimately accepting, and Andy… well, Andy would be Andy. But Aaron’s clearly got the edge in _that_ particular verbal battle. (Robert actually wishes they could meet again, if only to see what kind of verbal barbs Aaron would lob at Andy. He hadn’t had a chance that night at the pub, but he suspects Aaron’s got a few choice words waiting.) 

It’s at exactly this point that Robert starts imagining if Aaron actually were his boyfriend, even though he knows it’s wrong and that he’d told himself he wouldn’t, he can’t resist the thought of it. 

It would mean that Christmas would be different — but also a whole lot better. Maybe he and Aaron would both camp out on his sofa and rewatch _The Muppet Christmas Carol_ , Robert getting to see Aaron’s reactions in real time. Maybe he’d eschew his own family celebration — and Katie and Andy’s demanded apology in payment — by going and spending it with Aaron’s family instead. (Almost immediately he imagines a whole host of faces, each of varying ages. But all of them smiling when Aaron walks through the door, because there’s no way they don’t love and adore him.) 

His mind then skips ahead, to a few years down the line, Aaron now his imagined husband. They’d spend their Christmases decorating a big plastic tree, them and both their children. (He’s never been picky but now he’s imagining a girl _and_ a boy, both of them with dark hair and blue, blue eyes.) 

It reminds him of the previous day, both of them standing beside April, her much smaller hands having skipped into both of theirs. Aaron’s smile as he’d glanced over at Robert had contained an entire portrait of a future; dogs, children, and a wedding. Robert hadn’t realised it then — not like he does now — but he never does in time, does he? 

Any trace of nerves or internal discomfort he might have felt in the last couple of months, all of it has vanished. He can imagine having _all_ of this with a man, just as much as he would a woman. The realisation infinitely comforting. (What’s funny is that when he’d imagined this with Katie, he’d never been able to get much further than the idea of them. Just two of them standing at the end of the aisle. But sitting next to Aaron he can picture them in their old age, offering him a piece of his favourite chocolate and Aaron proceeding to roast him.) 

The realisation hits, and Robert feels foolish. The idea for the third one had been sitting in front of them all along. He can’t believe it didn’t occur to either of them before. Especially when it’s so perfect. 

He smiles to himself and starts furiously typing, chasing the idea before he loses hold of it. As the words fly out and the pitch takes shape, he can feel Aaron sit up and take notice. But he doesn’t say anything just lets Robert sit and work, recognising inspiration when he sees it. 

 _It’s all because of you_ , Robert wants to tell him, loud and clear. Only he doesn’t, just lets his words on the page do the talking. He hopes Aaron will get it.  
 

:::::  
  


He’s never been as nervous as he is now, watching Aaron read over what he’s written. Robert’s got his right knee curled up on the sofa, his hands in his lap as his heart thunders with each slight shift of Aaron’s mostly stone faced reaction. 

“So?” He asks when it appears Aaron’s done, studies him as he keeps the laptop on the coffee table and turns to face him. His left knee brushes against Robert’s right one, not that he notices, too busy awaiting his verdict. 

“It’s incredible,” Aaron says after a long while, voice gentle, smile soft and encouraging. There are a full five seconds where Robert can’t believe it. He almost asks for clarification. 

“You really think so?” He asks, tone mostly muted, this idea feeling like a big risk for him. He knows what Priya said, and what she’d assured him of, but he can’t be sure the rest of the company will go for it. 

“Yeah. This is the one,” Aaron reassures him, nothing but quiet confidence. “Sharma Sweets would be mad not to choose it.”

“No, I know,” Robert replies, because he does get it. “It just feels…”

He trails off, unable to find the words. For once, unable to express it, even his silver tongue coming up dry. There’s something personal about the pitch he’s crafted, almost like he’d be showing people his diary. 

“Robert, the idea of doing a PRIDE-themed Valentine’s Day campaign, it’s brilliant,” Aaron responds, and upon his saying it, it feels like the truth. “Companies showing their support is great. But you’re right. Why just do it only during Pride month? Why not also on Valentine’s Day, when we’re supposed to be celebrating _love_?” 

Aaron’s voice is growing louder as he starts to gesture with his hands, eyes shining with excitement. “This could help so many people. This could help change _lives_.” 

And then he stills, and grows quiet again, looking Robert in the eye as he shyly says, “Maybe coming out would have been easier if I’d have seen something like this… Something that made it seem normal.” 

Robert knows how he feels, how radical it all is, to even _propose_ the idea of two men kissing on national television, and later going on to have their own family. (That had been his whole idea, an ad campaign with queer, biracial families at the centre, showing that love is love, no matter who between. A bold Valentine’s Day statement.) 

“You’re telling _me_ ,” Robert jokes, cheeks warm and throat tight. He’s not sure he can handle Aaron just looking at him like _that_. “Maybe I wouldn’t have ended up ruining my brother’s wedding reception.” 

Aaron pretends like he’s thinking, as if that fact is inescapable; that he is still capable of producing that kind of chaos in spite of his bisexuality. That he would simply because he is Robert. 

“Still be you, though, wouldn’t ya?” He erupts into laughter a half a second later, clearly amused at Robert’s expense. 

He means for it to be a smack, a light gesture against Aaron’s arm, a way to get him to stop chuckling. But he doesn’t aim high enough, and his fingers go low, swiping across Aaron’s stomach in the process. 

Instinctively Aaron tenses, body bending forward, stomach flexing to protect his insides. That’s when Robert realises Aaron Dingle’s big secret: he’s in fact ticklish.

Now utterly delighted and intent on revenge he goes to try again, but Aaron just twists out of the way and to his right, half-wheezing, “No. _Robert_.” 

Not that it stops him. Robert’s already leaning closer, his hand pushing against Aaron’s as it comes forward to defend him, Aaron’s other one now wrapped defensively around his belly. He’s laughing low, his voice carrying straight to Robert’s ear, causing him to grin right back at him.

Robert lunges again, with the hand Aaron’s still holding, but his grip on Robert’s wrist proves firm as he manages to hold it in place, causing Robert’s chest to tip forward instead.

Aaron still smells like the B&B’s peppermint shampoo, Robert’s nose notes, before his brain realises just how close their faces are, how his lips just remain there hovering…

Robert’s eyes flicker up to Aaron’s but they’re still closed from all his laughing, a big smile on his face. Then slowly they open, taking Robert in; a slow, light blue sunrise emerging from under hooded eyelids.

A beat passes. They remain just staring, eyes locked on each other… 

And just like that, Robert can’t seem to control himself, because he closes the short distance between them and steals a kiss off Aaron. 

It feels like everything stills, including his heart rate, the universe locking and expanding at the feel of Aaron’s lips on his, the edges of that well-groomed beard rough against Robert’s clean-shaven soft. But as quickly as it started, the band snaps, and the world shifts and slides back into place, with only their pressed lips to guide it. 

He swipes his tongue against Aaron’s bottom lip, urgently asking for entry. When his lips part, Robert slides his way inside, eager for the taste of him. Robert brings his free hand up, and curls it around Aaron’s neck, his fingers resting against the short grain of Aaron’s hair; his thumb holding them steady. 

As he leans forward and into the kiss, he can feel Aaron slowly go pliant under his touch as he lets go of Robert’s wrist and moves to clutch at the front of his sweater, allowing Robert to bring up his now free hand and pull Aaron closer; feeling the short bristles of Aaron’s beard poking at him from under his palm as he rests his hand on his cheek tenderly. 

Robert can feel another set of thick fingers clutch at his sweater and shirt, searching for some kind of purchase as they start to tug them up and outward. So he just gives himself over to it, lets Aaron’s fingers explore and tangle as his own tongue and fingers artfully teasing out a _groan_ , the sound Aaron makes thick and throaty to his own ears. 

It crashes into him the moment after _that_. The realisation of what he’s doing, the fact that he’s _kissing_ Aaron. 

He lets go of Aaron’s face and pulls himself back, sees Aaron hovering in confusion, lips still parted and a kiss-struck red, eyes all dark and hazy. He’s clearly surprised and taken aback by what Robert just did, probably not responding as he tries to come to terms with his own actions.

 _He has a boyfriend_ , Robert’s mind screams. _A boyfriend who he loves_. _And I just made him cheat on him._  

Suddenly it feels like he’s back at that wedding; his chest clenching, his lungs too short of breath, his throat dry and seizing. He just wants the ground to swallow him or the heavens to smite him. (Robert Sugden’s never been too picky about his choice of demise, just that he needs it quick and urgent, and right this very instant.) 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, when he sees Aaron open his mouth to speak, looking away because he doesn’t want to meet them. 

He’s done the one thing he’d promised himself he wouldn’t do, crossed the line he said he’d stay back from. Only because he’s Robert fucking Sugden, he’s managed to do that royally, treated the line like it’s nonexistent. 

“Robert,” Aaron says. He sounds calm and collected — and too damn gentle for Robert’s panicked sensibilities. “We need to talk about what just happened.” 

“Nothing to talk about,” Robert brushes it off, springing to his feet, nearly wincing as his knee brushes Aaron’s again. “It was just a mistake. It doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s been a long day for both of us.” 

And then, “I’ll email Priya the pitches.”

He keeps on speaking, hoping that by filling the space with words he won’t have to hear Aaron’s rejection; hear him tell him that he’s perfectly happy with Adam. His voice sounds strangled, heart in his throat, where he can feel it furiously beating. 

He grabs his laptop and stuffs into his bag, hands fumbling with his growing mortification. He almost deems it okay to leave his coat behind. But stops himself for making yet another stupid decision. 

“See you tomorrow,” he announces at Aaron’s continued silence, unsure what else to say. He just knows Aaron had planned on attending the office holiday party. (Robert’s pretty sure he’s going to magically “take ill” tomorrow, thus preventing him from attending.) 

Without further ado, Robert turns on his heel and exits his own office, avoiding all eye contact with Aaron as he does so.  
 

:::::  
 

He can’t sleep. 

He thinks about calling Aaron, or messaging him. But he doesn’t know what to say — what he _can_ say. 

 _Sorry I kissed you even though you have a boyfriend._ _Sorry I ruined everything._  

His fingers refuse to do any typing. 

He emails Priya their pitches instead. CC’s Aaron just like he’d told him. 

When he does fall asleep it’s to the memory of Aaron’s voice, just calmly — and repeatedly — whispering, “ _Robert_.”  
 

:::::  
 

 **THURSDAY**  

He drafts an apology. Then deletes every word he’s written, before starting all over again. 

Perhaps he can open with acknowledgement of their good news, that the Sharmas not only read and loved their pitches, but that they’d done as Aaron had predicted and chosen his Pride-themed idea. 

The idea inspired by Aaron. 

He tosses that aside as well, just lays in bed staring at his phone screen, having opted to call in sick today, an immature ploy to avoid Aaron.  

 _You were right_ , Robert types, before deleting it quickly, wishing the perfect response would just come to him. 

Only like most things in life, this doesn’t have a clear enough solution, outside of his just apologising again. But something about Aaron’s silent response the previous night after the kiss, and lack of real follow up since then tells Robert that that’s an avenue not worth pursuing.

 

 _He’d have called you if he wanted to talk_. _Not left you wallowing in silence._

 

But just to be sure, he checks his phone again. No calls or messages or even emails from Aaron. 

 _Sorry for making you cheat on your boyfriend who you love_ , Robert types out as a draft, erasing it immediately after. 

He ends up calling Vic instead.

:::::  
  


Vic hears him out, making all the right sounds in all the right places, as he tells her all about how great Aaron is and how well they work together — including what happened last night. 

“So what’s the problem?” She asks, when he takes a break in the story, and that’s when he finally tells her about Adam.

They’re both sat on his living room sofa, her legs curled up under her, his stretched out and crossed at the ankles on the coffee table in front of him; same blue socks covering his feet. Robert looks away, crosses his arms over his chest and sighs when he’s done telling her. 

“Certainly have a type, I’ll give ya that,” Vic says, half under her breath, punctuating her comment with a sip of the tea he’d made her. 

Robert shoots her a pointed look, but concedes she has a point. That _had_ been the case with Katie, even though nothing happened between them until a month after she’d broken up with Andy. 

“I didn’t mean to kiss him,” Robert tries to explain. “It just sort of happened.” 

She gives him a sympathetic look but it only lasts for half a second, Vic apparently at the end of even her usually interminable patience. 

“Do you like him?” She asks, point blank, determined to get to the heart of it. 

“Yeah,” Robert says without a hint of indecision, looking her in the eye. It’s one of those things he’s sure of. And then, softly, because he’s now only realising it himself, “Vic, I think I might love him.” 

She raises her eyebrows at that, clearly not having expected her big brother to be so smitten and so quickly. “So then just apologise, and tell him how ya feel.” 

 _What if he doesn’t like me anymore?_ His mind wants to protest. _What if he really hates me?_  

Vic must see the apprehension on his face, because then she tells him, “Robert, if you really love him, it’s worth a shot. Maybe he likes ya too!” 

“I made him cheat on his boyfriend, Vic,” Robert points out, aware of the slight whine creeping into his voice. “Like he could ever like me after _that_.” 

“All you did was kiss him,” Vic says, as if he hasn’t just unleashed a giant hurdle in his own path. “Yeah, that’s not great. But it’s not the end of the world. You can still apologise.” 

“I tried,” Robert protests, hiding the fact that it was a thrown away “sorry,” part of his flurried attempt to escape from the room. 

It doesn’t work. Vic sees right through him. “Try _again_ then. And show him how much you mean it. There’s no point sitting at home and hiding from him like this.” 

Robert bites his lip, giving her words some thought. He knows she has a point. 

“Guess, I’m going to the Christmas party after all,” he says, tipping his head back against the sofa, neck resting on the edge of the back cushion. He wishes he could just sink into it and never be heard from again. 

Beside him, Vic shuffles over, sliding her arm between his and dropping her head on his shoulder like she used to just when they were kids. She smells of tea and biscuits, that smell familiar too. Robert lets himself sink into _that_ instead, dropping his head to the left and letting his cheek rest atop her head. 

“You do deserve love, you know,” Vic says after they’ve been sitting there like this for a few minutes. “Even if it isn’t with Aaron.” 

It shouldn’t really hit him that hard, but it feels like something within him completely unravels. He knows Vic has accepted his bisexuality and taken it in stride, but it’s another thing to witness her not bat an eyelid at his being in love with another man. To her, Aaron’s just Robert’s co-worker, a person he made the mistake of falling for. And he couldn’t love her more for it — even if she doesn’t entirely get the full depth of his feelings for Aaron. (But then again, neither does he.) 

“Thanks, Vic,” Robert says quietly, gratitude drenching his words. He presses a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Just telling you the truth, you idiot,” she says, her voice affectionate and fond. She accompanies her words with a light smack on his arm. 

As if sensing he doesn’t quite believe her, she peels herself off him and untangles her arm from around his. 

Forcing him to look her in the eye she says, “I know you’re not actually lacking confidence, but Aaron, or any other _person_ , would be lucky to date someone like ya.” 

She pauses to smile at him before she continues, “You’re smart, you’re funny, and you know what? You’re not bad looking either.” 

“Shame it skipped you though,” Robert teases, cracking a smile. 

“Oi!” Vic responds, completely outraged at him. “I was trying to do something nice here!”

“So was I,” Robert jokes, faking every ounce of sincerity. “As your brother, it’s my responsibility to make you aware of these things.” 

“Cheeky git,” she pouts, despite still coming back to snuggle up against him. He lifts his arm so she can slide hers back around it, linking them up once more. 

“Love you too,” he replies with much more honesty, meaning every word of it.

:::::  
 

He shows up later than he’d originally planned, having taken too long to select his outfit. He’d wanted to look good for when he’d be seeing Aaron, but not _so_ good that it’d look like he was trying to impress him. (Though that is very much the case.) 

The result is him picking out a white button up shirt and his maroon blazer — making a concentrated effort to avoid any blue whatsoever — before finally giving in and wearing the same jeans he’d worn over the past few days. 

When he walks through the door the music is already blaring, with people standing around and chatting looking a bit extra festive, everyone glad to be done with work for both the week _and_ the rest of the year. 

Looking around their main office area, Robert tries to spot Aaron, just so he can apologise and make his getaway. 

He spots him in the corner, not at all dressed festively save for a bright red Santa hat he’s wearing. He’s talking to Gavin and Tracy, a smile on his face. Robert can tell instantly it’s a lot dimmer than it usually is and that it’s nowhere close to reaching his eyes. His stomach twists with guilt. 

Still, he swallows it down and takes a step forward, preparing himself to go talk to him. 

But just as he does so a hand wraps around his arm and suddenly Robert’s pulled away to the side. He opens his mouth to protest vehemently, but the words die on his lips when he sees that the person responsible is Eric. 

“Good job with the Sharma account!” His boss tells him, actually beaming over at him. “Rishi himself called and told me. They were quite impressed with what you sent them.” 

“Thanks,” Robert says, sounding a little too brusque. So he tempers it by adding, “Couldn’t have done it without Aaron.” 

“Ah yes!” Eric exclaims, sounding very delighted. “I’ve already told him this, but seeing how well the both of you work together, I might make you work together permanently!” 

“T-Thanks,” Robert manages, not sure what else he’s supposed to say. The smile on his face shrinks at the thought of it. 

Eric seems to notice because he just studies Robert curiously, and says, “Well then, I’ll just let you go on with it, shall I? Go find your partner and celebrate!” 

That snaps Robert out of the mental funk he’s in, the insinuation that Aaron could be his _partner_. 

He knows Eric definitely meant in the professional capacity, but his face still turns pink, his mind once again sending him back to last night, when he’d had Aaron’s lips on his; the feeling every bit as good as he’d imagined it. 

Before he can respond and change the conversation, Eric gives his arm a pat and leaves him. 

Once again left alone, Robert rights himself, then goes in search of Aaron. But as he moves around the room — ducking and weaving around Bernice _and_ an already-tipsy Gerry — he finds that the particular man he’s looking for is nowhere to be found. 

What he does see, close to that same corner where he’d spotted him earlier, is _Adam_ talking to Tracy. Reasoning that Aaron would be close by, and that he’s probably not told Adam (seeing as he’s at yet another work event with him), Robert resolves to go ask him where Aaron is. 

Though as he grows nearer, he sees Adam step forward, smiling up at Tracy with clear, unabashed interest in his eyes. 

Robert’s brow furrows, his stomach starts lurching. 

 _Adam Barton is bisexual?_  

He picks up his pace, looks around the room, trying to spot Aaron. He doesn’t find him, so he looks back ahead, trying to walk faster. 

In his line of sight he sees Adam brush back a strand of Tracy’s hair off her face, and then he hears her giggle flirtatiously. 

 _What about Aaron?_ Robert starts to panic, doing a cursory sweep of the office area once again. But he’s nowhere close, nowhere to be seen, nowhere to witness Adam Barton clearly cheat on him. 

Robert rushes the last few steps and gets in his way, squaring up to Adam. (In actuality, Robert’s height gives him a bit of an advantage, allowing him to tower slightly over Adam.) 

“What the hell do you think ya doin’?” Adam exclaims, taking a step back and looking at him all outraged. 

“I could ask _you_ the same thing,” Robert whispers, fury swelling within him. _Yes_ , he’d technically caused Aaron to cheat, but that still renders him innocent. Unlike Adam, who’s clearly acting of his own accord, not too much alcohol even in his system. 

“What are you talkin’ about mate?” Adam asks, clearly too thick to understand the concept of being unfaithful. 

“Do you even know how lucky you are?” Robert questions, barely bothering to whisper, only does it so he doesn’t make Aaron’s love life everyone’s business. “Aaron _loves_ you. How can you cheat on him like this?” 

Adam Barton’s features are a study in surprise, his eyes growing larger and rounder as his jaw drops and he just stands there stupidly gaping. 

“Whoa. You’ve got your wires all crossed,” he finally answers when he gathers himself together. “Aaron and I aren’t boyfriends! We’re just best mates. That’s all!” 

And then, a little louder and specifically directed to Tracy. “I’m a 100% straight.” 

Now it’s Robert’s turn to stand there all slack-jawed and surprised, his mind barely working. 

“But what about…” he begins, trying to formulate his question, but words just aren’t coming to him. 

“Robert, he likes _you_ ,” Adam continues, grinning like he’s pleased to have one up on him. “He’s been tryin’ to get you to notice him for days now. He wasn’t sure if you were gay or not.” 

“I‘m not gay,” Robert corrects, barely without thinking. “I’m bisexual.” 

His voice is quiet as the words fly out, but his mind is too busy spinning. 

 _Aaron Dingle likes him._  

And not just that, Aaron Dingle likes him enough to try and suss him out, to try and see if he was interested and available. 

The second his mind goes there, a penny drops right into the pit of his stomach. Aaron likes him, but Robert kissed him, and then he’d _run away_. 

 _He probably thinks I hate him. Or that I’m not interested._  

He honestly can’t tell what’s worse. 

Back in the real world, Adam seems delighted. “Aw, that’s great! Aaron’ll be well pleased to hear that.” 

 _He already knows_ , Robert wants to say. But he just nods and asks instead, “Where is he? Where’s Aaron?” 

“Oh! You just missed him,” Adam says, looking at him apologetically. “He left a little while ago. Thought he’d call it an early night.” 

Robert stands there staring in complete disbelief, unable to process what he’s hearing — as well as Adam’s general nonchalance at the situation.

“Where does he live?” He manages to ask calmly, just one more second from yelling the question in Adam’s face.

He barely waits to hear the full answer in his rush to leave the office.

:::::  
 

He runs up the stairs all the way to the third floor, unable to wait even a few minutes longer for the too-slow-for-his-tastes moving lift.

 _Aaron Dingle likes him.  
_ 

:::::  
 

He pounds on the door to Aaron’s flat, barely catches his breath. Just stands there panting and sweating. 

Aaron opens on his fifth or sixth knock, brow furrowing when he sees him. He is hair is slightly dishevelled like he’d just woken up from a nap, and he’s wearing that same black t-shirt like over the past couple of days, only now it’s paired with- 

“Are you wearing my boxers?” Robert asks, mouth dropping open. 

Following his eyeline, Aaron looks down, and indeed, there’s an illustration of light green mistletoe spread across his darker green crotch, the familiar design that Robert had himself picked out for him in that village. 

“Robert, what you even doin’ here?” He asks with a long, deep-seated sigh. Robert notices he doesn’t open the door wider or offer to let him in. He gets it but it still stings.  

“I wanted to say I’m sorry about yesterday,” Robert attempts, the first part of the speech he’d practiced in the taxi ride over. But as Aaron stands there and watches him, eyes cool and surveying, he feels a drop of sweat slide down the back of his neck and he instantly forgets everything. 

“Yeah, pretty much got that,” Aaron tells him, voice sounding flat. He doesn’t seem too impressed with Robert. “Don’t think I’ve seen anyone run away quite that fast before. It was like you were training for the Olympics.” 

“ _That’s_ what I’m sorry for,” Robert tries again, doing his best to carry on with the explanation, his spirits just barely buoyed by the outfit Aaron’s wearing. “I shouldn’t have really done that.” 

Aaron just quirks up an eyebrow in unamused judgement. Robert senses a sliver of an opening. 

“Because I like you,” he blurts out, his last and only move, one final gambit to turn the tide in his favour. “Aaron, I really like you.”  

In front of him, he can see Aaron slowly trying to process what he’s just said, looking back at him in confusion like, _You what?_  

“Then why did ya-” 

“Gerry told me-” Robert interrupts, though none of what he’s about to say next feels at all adequate. 

It sounds ridiculous to even utter it aloud, when he really thinks about it. But he knows he owes Aaron this explanation. “Gerry told me Adam was your boyfriend.” 

“He what?” Aaron asks him, looking actually quite insulted. “Adam’s straight.” 

Despite knowing the real truth of the matter, something inside Robert still thrills to hear Aaron say it, to know without a doubt that Aaron Dingle would _never_ fancy Adam.  

“Yeah. He just told me back at the party,” Robert says, trying to fill the silence. He adds jokingly, “Thought I might have to fight him.” 

“You wanted to fight Adam?” Aaron asks, sounding a bit amused, even if his face doesn’t quite look it. 

“Thought he might be cheating on you with Tracy,” Robert explains sheepishly, his cheeks going ahead and burning as he remembers how he’d squared up to Adam; how he’d accused him of _also_ being bisexual. 

 _Still, better than what happened with Andy._  

“That what you do every time you catch someone cheating?” Now it just sounds like Aaron’s pulling his leg, his expression completely deadpan. 

Robert doesn’t mind, he’d let Aaron pull every leg he has, would even get up and let him do it again if he wanted. “Just when it’s people I care about.” 

 _Because I care about you._  

He swallows and adds, “Because I care about you, Aaron. I care about you a lot.” 

Aaron just stares back at him, the corner of his lips turning upwards, “Think your exact words were you ‘really like’ me.” 

Robert nods, starting to smile.

 _Actually, I think I love you._  

Aaron seems to hear it, because mirrors his expression, lips pulling wide into a smile. It’s all Robert can do to remain standing and staring, every bit of him yearningly _aching_. 

He steps forward slowly, seizing the moment, left foot before right foot, till he’s standing in front of Aaron. 

He stands in place, looking down into Aaron’s eyes, the other man not moving or even really budging. He just continues standing, waiting for Robert to make a move; eyes daring him for a repeat of what they’d done in the office. 

Swallowing nervously, his heart rapidly beating, Robert decides to follow his instruction. Leaning forward slowly, he lets the side of his nose gently brush past Aaron’s, before letting their lips softly graze each other. 

This time it’s Aaron who lunges, lips pressing harder, deepening the kiss before Robert has a chance to recover. His hands come up to clutch at the sides of the black t-shirt Aaron’s wearing, the fabric soft in his hands as his knuckles graze against the muscular panes of the sides of Aaron’s torso. It’s better than the dream, and better than the one in the office, because this time Aaron’s kissing him _back_. 

They stand there quietly, kissing and swaying, both pairs of eyes shut in the moment. 

Aaron’s got his hands on either side of Robert’s upper arms, holding him close and keeping him stable — just like that day last week in the pub, only now Robert’s living his fantasy; he’s in Aaron’s arms and he _likes_ him. 

When they break apart, Robert keeps smiling, resting his head against Aaron’s forehead. 

“Does this mean you like me too?” He asks, nervous, shy, and breathless. 

“Shut up and kiss me,” Aaron smiles, before reaching up to chase his lips.  

Robert smiles and closes his eyes, and does just as he asks.  
 

:::::  
 

 **FRIDAY**  

He wakes up with his head on Aaron’s chest, but unlike last time he’s not filled with panic and a strong reluctance to move. Instead he just lays there and savours every moment of it, even adjusting himself so they’re wrapped closer together; bare skin laying against just-as-bare skin, trading heat back and forth freely. 

He’s got his ear on Aaron’s chest, and one of Aaron’s arms around his shoulder. He can hear Aaron’s pulse as it beats under his left ear, the rhythm of it steady and calming. He turns his face and plants a kiss right over one of Aaron’s right ribs. 

That earns him a groan, Aaron pulling him closer. Robert can tell that he’s somewhat awake, just a little buried under the thick fog of slumber. He pulls the quilt over them a little more fully, covering up his shoulder and then rests his arm back across Aaron’s stomach. 

“Morning sleepyhead,” he greets softly, eyes trained on Aaron’s closed ones. When he sees them finally flutter open — oceans full of blue sucking him in — he smiles and adds, “About time… Merry Christmas.”  
 

:::::  
 

He’s still a little in disbelief later on in the day, his heart constantly skipping beats as Aaron leans in for a kiss as he gets up from his bed, or the dining table, or settles down on the sofa next to him. (Why Robert thought he’d ever get used to the idea of Aaron’s open affection, he doesn’t even know. Each moment this morning has felt like a gift so far.)  

Currently he can’t believe that Aaron’s really tucked up against him, the jut of his right shoulder a perfect fit under Robert’s left armpit, both of them slotting together like two pieces of a human puzzle; Robert’s left arm stretching across the back of the sofa, right behind Aaron’s shoulders. (All the better for later when he’ll want to drape his arm over them, maybe eventually shifting them into a position where they’re both spooning on the sofa.) 

Aaron pauses the movie on the telly — their second attempt at watching _The Muppet Christmas Carol_ together — and turns to face Robert. “Everything alright?” 

Robert bites his lip, still adjusting to being able to see Aaron from these angles, the afternoon light highlighting his brow bone and cheekbone. 

“You sure about this?” Robert finally asks, voicing his hesitations. He studies Aaron’s features for even the tiniest tell he might feel otherwise. “You’ve got your family dinner to go to. You don’t need to come to mine. It’ll just be a load of drama anyway.” 

He finds none. 

“I told you,” Aaron says, his calm, reassuring self. “I’m not leaving you alone to deal with Andy and Katie.” 

“But it’s _Christmas_ ,” Robert argues, stressing the fact that they both know that’s Aaron’s favourite part of the holiday. “And you actually love your family.”

“So?” Aaron shrugs, like this isn’t the biggest thing in the world. “Robert, if I didn’t want to spend today with you. I wouldn’t have asked to come along. I can always see my lot tomorrow” 

“What about the presents?” Robert asks, using the latest argument he’s been able to come up with. 

Aaron rolls his eyes. “What are you? Eight?” 

He must see the guilt writ across Robert’s face because he softens his tone and says, “Robert, I _want_ to do this with ya. You know, because I like ya.” 

It’s definitely cheating on Aaron’s part, but Robert allows it, lets the resulting smile make a home on his face. That seems to appease Aaron, because having gotten the response he clearly wanted, he asks, “Now can we watch this movie, or what? Don’t want to be late for dinner. Don’t need to give them more reasons to hate you.” 

“Shut up and hit play,” Robert says, grumbling his reply, though his smile doesn’t even fade. To make himself feel better he moves his arm across Aaron’s shoulder. Aaron settles in automatically, adjusting his seating accordingly. 

“Don’t you dare fall asleep on me again, old man,” he says looking up, not passing up the opportunity to tease Robert. 

“Shut up.” Robert mumbles with a bashful smile before leaning down and kissing him.  

It feels just as good as every other time since. 

:::::  
 

ONE YEAR LATER

 

**FRIDAY**

He can’t say his opinion of Adam Barton has improved much in the year since. (He’s definitely not as inexplicably fond of him as Aaron is. Though he doubts if anyone will ever be) But as Robert stands there and watches him eat some of his boyfriend’s food and share another one of his dumb jokes, making Aaron laugh in the process, he can’t help but feel what _could_ be described as a twinge of affection.

Sensing Robert’s eyes on him from across their shared table at the pub, Adam puts his hands up as if to a police officer and teases, “Don’t worry Robert. There’s nothing going on. Me and Aaron are just _best_ mates, yeah? That’s all.”

Robert rolls his eyes, no stranger to this particular joke in the time since, but Aaron’s already quick on the draw. He elbows his friend and fires back, “You wish.”

He then smiles over at Robert, the way he’s done ever since that first week and just like always Robert recognises it for what it is, his “Robert” smile; soft, wide, and affectionate, with little crinkles by his eyes. His heart thunders in his chest just like it always did. Only now he has the silver engagement ring tucked in his jacket pocket as additional confirmation — the best Christmas present he feels he could give Aaron, especially for the amazing last year he’s given him.

Their campaign for the Sharmas was a total success, both of them earning hefty promotions and bagging themselves all sorts of good will and even a a few industry awards. Now they’re assigned all the high profile clients, working as a team with each of them. Robert and Andy’s relationship is still a work in progress, but the rest of Robert’s family loves Aaron. And he’s done pretty well with the Dingles as well, winning over all of them — including his uncle Cain.

So when it became apparent that he was ready to propose, he went over to Aaron’s mother Chas and asked her permission. He’d even made the obligatory phone call to Adam, out of respect and love for Aaron. (He’s actually shell shocked that the other man’s managed to keep it a secret thus far. Watching Aaron and Adam trade jokes and play darts, he has no sense that he knows what Robert’s going to do. And frankly, that makes him all the more excited.)

He can’t wait till he sees Aaron’s face when he opens up this particular present later back at their flat, a small black leather-bound box, just bearing the innocuous words, _Merry Christmas, Rob XoXo_ , on the tag outside.

But he puts all thoughts of that out of his head as Aaron comes to sit down, collapsing into the wooden chair right next to him, his knee knocking against Robert’s.

“Merry Christmas,” he greets after giving Robert a long hard look. Then he leans in for a quick kiss.

Robert returns it, savouring the feeling, then replies, “Merry Christmas.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a short, quick fic to give me a bit of a break before I got back to working on my big bang. But like most things in my fic-writing career thus far, I played myself royally. So here's this monster. 
> 
> One of the things I'm really proud of in this fic is that I was able to not only write from Robert's POV, but that I was able to touch on and explore his bisexuality and the way being around Aaron allows him to open up and examine himself. I've always wanted to write a fic about that but just been too nervous or unable to find a way that spoke to me or allowed me to do it in a way that satisfied me. Somehow, this did. 
> 
> Lastly, all the thanks in the world to Whatdiknow, Letthebluerain, Thesnowyswan, Illgetmerope, and Cassianjerons for not just being so kind and patient with me as I not only ignored every deadline presented to me, but also for answering my various questions about various points and talking me through any weird or random doubts I had in the writing of this. A special thank you to Persiflager as well, who kicked this whole thing off kind of by suggesting Robert be jealous of Adam. (And for telling me it was okay to revisit familiar themes in other ways.)
> 
> But yes. Please do let me know if you have any thoughts, comments, questions, or concerns down below, or come find me on tumblr, where I'm @rustandruin, where I guess I am despite it being past the 17th. 
> 
> Happy Holidays Everyone!


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